1. Posted: May 9, 2016In:

    Using a mysterious equation to predict how and when he’ll die, a wealthy businessman must kill a corrupt government official to prevent his untimely demise, but when things go awry he starts to question if he is preventing or creating his fate.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity

    I suggest you might want to clarify the theme you want to explore and hopefully that will bring the logline into focus. ?As it currently stands, I am unable to get a handle on either. (Which is complicated by the fact that I had a day job requiring extensive knowledge and intensive use of statisticsRead more

    I suggest you might want to clarify the theme you want to explore and hopefully that will bring the logline into focus. ?As it currently stands, I am unable to get a handle on either. (Which is complicated by the fact that I had a day job requiring extensive knowledge and intensive use of statistics, so I find it hard to suspend disbelief.)

    This seems to be a clone of the sub-genre of stories about futures foretold through story props like astrology charts, tarot cards, crystal balls, etc. ?The prop may be different but premise seems to be the same. ?Other than the prop, what does this story bring to the sub-genre that hasn’t been done before?

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  2. Posted: May 9, 2016In:

    After completing prison term and reuniting with his loving wife a man wanted to choose the righteous path only to find his wife wants him to murder someone for the last time to bring her to justice.

    dpg Singularity

    As noted, ?the logline is vague and the man's motivation doesn't seem credible or compelling. ?Why does the wife need "justice"? ?And why would he agree to do it? (Just because she's his wife doesn't seem to be a sufficient reason.) ?What are the stakes for him? ?What does he stand to gain -- need tRead more

    As noted, ?the logline is vague and the man’s motivation doesn’t seem credible or compelling. ?Why does the wife need “justice”? ?And why would he agree to do it? (Just because she’s his wife doesn’t seem to be a sufficient reason.) ?What are the stakes for him? ?What does he stand to gain — need to gain — by acceding to her demand?

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  3. Posted: May 8, 2016In:

    When a killer starts following the script seven actors deserted on a movie set must re-write their own ending before they die BEHIND THE SCENES.

    dpg Singularity

    There are very personal stakes: it's a matter of ?life and death.And It doesn't bother me that it's an ensemble piece.The genre is stipulated as horror. ?And the convention of the genre is that everything starts out normal and then goes horribly weird and wrong. That's what the audience expects to hRead more

    There are very personal stakes: it’s a matter of ?life and death.

    And It doesn’t bother me that it’s an ensemble piece.

    The genre is stipulated as horror. ?And the convention of the genre is that everything starts out normal and then goes horribly weird and wrong. That’s what the audience expects to happen. ??

    Maybe the director is making ?an improvised film; he has only a general outline of the story and the actors are supposed to make up scenes and dialogue as they go along. ?People start dying off. ?The dramatic question becomes: ?can they writing a version of the script that will stop the killing?

    I suggest it might be more interesting if the concept of the film within the film is a comedy. ?So the actors must keep coming up with jokes and funny situations even as their predicament becomes grimmer and grimmer. ?They must “kill” in their scenes with ?comedy — or be killed.

    fwiw

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