1. Posted: May 7, 2016In:

    Heracles is wrongfully accused of murdering his family, he sets off to find the true killer, a goddess.

    dpg Singularity

    First of all, the logline ?reveals the solution to the whodunit, which a logline should never do. ? Unless that discovery is the inciting incident ?for a whole different story than identifying the murderer. ?Is it? ? If not, then there goes the mystery and suspense: the guilty one is the goddess ofRead more

    First of all, the logline ?reveals the solution to the whodunit, which a logline should never do. ? Unless that discovery is the inciting incident ?for a whole different story than identifying the murderer. ?Is it? ? If not, then there goes the mystery and suspense: the guilty one is the goddess of women marriage, by which I presume you are referring to the Greek goddess, Hera.

    What is the story really about? ?What does demigod seek? ?What is his/her objective goal? ?It seems to be to win exoneration from being the presumed murderer. ?

    What are the stakes? ?What does the demigod stand to suffer or lose by?not winning exoneration? ?I dunno.

    Whatever the stakes are, ?”justice” in terms of punishing Hera ican’t be one of them. ?Because the lady’s?got status and connections. She’s married to the boss of bosses, Greek God Numero Uno, Zeus. ?She’s exempt for the laws that apply to mere demigods and mortals. ?She’s untouchable. ?Those are the rules on Mt. Olympus and a demigod has neither the rank nor the power to do anything about it.

    ?The story in this logline wouldn’t be an Olympian scandal in the sense of being the 1st time Hera has cursed or killed someone. ?She was ?a very jealous wife and always got revenge on those female demigods and mortals who dallied with her chronically unfaithful husband. ?Cursed and killed with impunity.

    You can fudge on some of the rules because, after all, this is a fantasy. ?But generally you have to work within ?the rules of the source material, Greek mythology. If ?the story is going to bulldoze over the rules, ?it needs a very good dramatic reason for doing so.

    So what is the plot? ?What is the point of the story?

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  2. Posted: May 5, 2016In:

    When a local library begins shredding it’s books due to the popularity of e-readers, a limited edition copy of Macbeth must lead his Shakespearean archive to safety at the National Archive before they’re shredded too.

    dpg Singularity

    My only caveat is the challenge of the target audience. ? Kids aren't going to pick up on and appreciate the references to characters and plots in Shakespeare's plays. ?The trick is to do what Pixar does so well, tell a story that ?plays on two levels, entertaining kids while appealing to adults. GoRead more

    My only caveat is the challenge of the target audience. ? Kids aren’t going to pick up on and appreciate the references to characters and plots in Shakespeare’s plays. ?The trick is to do what Pixar does so well, tell a story that ?plays on two levels, entertaining kids while appealing to adults.

    Good luck with the story.

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  3. Posted: May 6, 2016In:

    When seven actors arrive ready to shoot a horror movie but the location is desert. Soon they start dying just as the script describes.

    dpg Singularity

    The premise of the story seems to be a case of death imitating art.I assumed the desert location was to set up a remote location from which the actors could not easily escape. ?Still, why would the actors keep acting out their roles, after the deaths start? ?Unless the horror movie is about the mystRead more

    The premise of the story seems to be a case of death imitating art.

    I assumed the desert location was to set up a remote location from which the actors could not easily escape. ?Still, why would the actors keep acting out their roles, after the deaths start? ?Unless the horror movie is about the mysterious death of 7 actors while filming a movie about 7 actors mysteriously dying while filming a movie.

    But, still, the question remains: ?what becomes the objective goal of the surviving cast, and specifically the director after death starts imitating art?

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