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Thanks all for the help. Re working it now.
I like the fact the protagonist is female. ?That by itself makes the concept stand out from the pack as most of the time in this and related genres, the main character is a guy.Now then. ?She may be a dancer -- and impulsive -- in the story. ?But her characterization in the logline has to be relevanRead more
I like the fact the protagonist is female. ?That by itself makes the concept stand out from the pack as most of the time in this and related genres, the main character is a guy.
Now then. ?She may be a dancer — and impulsive — in the story. ?But her characterization in the logline has to be relevant to her predicament and objective goal. ?
Her predicament is that an alien species is tracking her down to kill her. ?For the purpose of the logline that she’s an impulsive dancer is irrelevant to her predicament — unless the aliens are also?dance critics for the New York Times. ?:-)
The character attribute that is relevant to her predicament is that she’s an orphan, or some such. ? (I like orphan because it’s provides a ?motivation to the audience for why she is looking for her birth parents. ?And when she’s being hunted down by the aliens, it raises dramatic tension because she has no kin to call upon for help or an explanation. ?She must survive by her own will and wits.)
Anyway, my takeaway is that the characterization in the logline needs to be congruent with the plot.
>>may be family.
Well, they are family, right? ? If the final answer is “No”, I can guarantee that as ?soon as the logline reader finds out she’s been conned by a bait-and-switch, ?she will hurl the script into the nearest trash can. ?FADE OUT.
Since you’ve mentioned it, you gotta deliver because that is what is expected. ?So my suggestion is to turn the card over in the logline. ?Reveal the spade, call it a spade.
Yes, it’s a big reveal. ? But it’s also the story hook. ?It’s the single element that makes this story stand out from ?all the other scripts about attacking aliens.
I think the premise has potential; I ?can see the story going in several directions. ?But I don’t know which one you have in mind. ?So I can only suggest that instead of the aliens wantonly killing off everyone — the obvious, the predictable, the trite and tired trope — what if they only want to kill her? ?No one one else on the planet is in their laser sights but her. ?She’s the “One”, the only “One” they want.
Why do they only want to kill off only her, a putative member of their family? ?And what must she do about that? ?(Besides survive.)
See lessfwiw
When a bio-terrorist’s engineered plague infects a superhero, he breaks out of prison to create a cure for the woman he loves.
>>A question for dpg, what is the reason you asked me if I thought about switching the genders of the superhero and MC?Because in most movies in this and related genres, the plot formula is for the guy to rescue the gal. ?So why not make this story an exception, make it stand out from the packRead more
>>A question for dpg, what is the reason you asked me if I thought about switching the genders of the superhero and MC?
Because in most movies in this and related genres, the plot formula is for the guy to rescue the gal. ?So why not make this story an exception, make it stand out from the pack by reversing that stereotypical formula?
And I have the same question as others: what’s so super about a woman who can get infected with a bio-engineered bacteria? And what about the 7.5 billion normals? Aren’t their lives in equal mortal jeopardy?
And why did he bio-engineer the bacteria in the 1st place? Why is he in prison? ??I’m only asking questions about the back story the script must answer — in the 1st Act, the 1st 30 pages, no less — to make the story going forward into the 2nd Act credible.
Finally, my impression remains that there are (at least) 2 stories here. ?You do realize that the #1 element producers and directors are looking for in a SciFi concept is its franchise factor. ?The more potential it has to become a franchise, the more likely the script will get read — and produced.
Ergo, think ?franchise. ?And write accordingly. ?
fwiw
See lessIn a small town, an embittered young male struggles with the beliefs of a little girl who thinks the old man in a Santa suit is Santa while he robs a bank on Christmas Eve.
But it will be compared to "Bad Santa".Who is the main character? ?The young man or the old man? ?Or are they accomplices?And why would there be a struggle over beliefs in the mind of the young man? ?Why would he care what she believes? Doesn't he have more urgent matters -- the heist -- on his mindRead more
But it will be compared to “Bad Santa”.
Who is the main character? ?The young man or the old man? ?Or are they accomplices?
And why would there be a struggle over beliefs in the mind of the young man? ?Why would he care what she believes? Doesn’t he have more urgent matters — the heist — on his mind?
?What is the young girl doing outside after dark? ?Why isn’t she home with her family on the most family-oriented night of the year?
See less