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  1. Posted: April 18, 2016In: Drama

    After finding a student showing signs of self-harm, Thomas, an intrapersonal anxious janitor must risk his job in pursuit of helping the young teen learn the beauty of life through his secret rooftop garden.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 18, 2016 at 1:08 pm

    "Intrapersonal anxious" is psycho-babble. ?Say it in plain English. What are the signs of "self-harm"? Suicidal urges? ?Drug abuse? ?Cutting? Be specific. And is the teen is male or female? ?Again be specific -- how else are they going to know how to cast it? And isn't the janitor's goal to save hisRead more

    “Intrapersonal anxious” is psycho-babble. ?Say it in plain English.

    What are the signs of “self-harm”? Suicidal urges? ?Drug abuse? ?Cutting? Be specific.

    And is the teen is male or female? ?Again be specific — how else are they going to know how to cast it?

    And isn’t the janitor’s goal to save his life? ?Isn’t ?”learn the beauty of life” ?just a means to that end, that objective goal?

    And I don’t understand why his job as a janitor would be at ?risk for the simple human decency of reaching out to help a teen.

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  2. Posted: April 17, 2016In: Thriller

    Trivial thieves hatch a plot to heist big business’s grand scam: the cure for cancer.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 18, 2016 at 12:01 am

    What Richiev said. And how can one "heist" a cure for cancer? ?What does that mean? It's unclear whether "scam" means Big Pharma is making big bucks off a high priced bogus cure. ?Or whether Big Pharma is making big bucks off a real cure by charging too much. ? Please clarify.

    What Richiev said.

    And how can one “heist” a cure for cancer? ?What does that mean? It’s unclear whether “scam” means Big Pharma is making big bucks off a high priced bogus cure. ?Or whether Big Pharma is making big bucks off a real cure by charging too much. ? Please clarify.

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  3. Posted: April 17, 2016In: Drama

    In a near future three close but troubled small-town boys journey alone cross country seeking hope and meaning within a crumbling society exposing them to the realisation that their days as children and lifelong companions may be drawing to an end.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 17, 2016 at 11:52 pm

    I can understand how a boy on the cusp of adolescence would want to break free from the isolation and constraints of his religious community independent of world events. ? But you frame his juvenile odyssey ?in the context of?his "small religious community disintegrating in the face of mankind's rapRead more

    I can understand how a boy on the cusp of adolescence would want to break free from the isolation and constraints of his religious community independent of world events. ? But you frame his juvenile odyssey ?in the context of?his “small religious community disintegrating in the face of mankind’s rapid evolution. ” ?And I’m not sure what “rapid evolution” is supposed to mean. What is the distinguishing feature of this ?”rapid evolution” that causes the disintegration of the religious community???The plot seems to be juggling 3 balls, 3 story threads. ?Which is the most important?

    The boy has an objective goal in terms of reaching a specific location by a specific date for a specific event. ?And there may be a lot at stake for mankind in establishing contact with alien life. ?But isn’t that a distant, future prospect outside the time frame of the movie? ?(Or is it?) ? What are the stakes HERE and NOW in the time frame of the movie for the juvenile protagonist? ?Why must he travel cross cross country to witness the launch in person rather than watch it on TV or the Internet like (almost) everyone else?

    Finally, in a logline a main character is not named ?but rather described with a defining (and usually flawed) characteristic.

    fwiw

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