1. Posted: April 19, 2016In:

    A Talent Agency for Dogs struggles to find a dog for an important German beer commercial.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity

    I like the concept. ?I think it?has a lot of potential for comedy. ?But as others have noted it, the logline needs a main character.And it needs stakes. ? What does the main character stand to gain if she succeeds, lose if she fails? ?Maybe ?it's a startup advertising company running out of its stakRead more

    I like the concept. ?I think it?has a lot of potential for comedy. ?But as others have noted it, the logline needs a main character.

    And it needs stakes. ? What does the main character stand to gain if she succeeds, lose if she fails? ?Maybe ?it’s a startup advertising company running out of its stake, its venture capital. ?The stakes could be that if can’t ?cast the right dog, the owner will go bankrupt, lose every penny she’s sunk into her venture. ?Either the owner/manager casts the right dog — or the business goes to the dogs.?Or else it could be an established firm on the verge of going bankrupt. ?And it’s all up to the main character to find the right dog, ?keep the account, save the business.

    Whatever, the premise would be strengthened by urgent stakes.

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  2. Posted: April 19, 2016In:

    Two lovers, living in different universes, have the unfortunate fate of acknowledging each other’s existence as the two lovers start dreaming of being in each other’s body and both fall madly in love with each other. .

    dpg Singularity

    As noted, what's the inciting incident? ? The logline poses a situation, a confusing one -- but not a plot.What, specifically, is so "unfortunate" about their relationship? ?What specific objective goal arises out of this situation. ?And who or what opposes them??And so what ?if they fall in love wiRead more

    As noted, what’s the inciting incident? ? The logline poses a situation, a confusing one — but not a plot.

    What, specifically, is so “unfortunate” about their relationship? ?What specific objective goal arises out of this situation. ?And who or what opposes them??And so what ?if they fall in love with each other– what’s at stake?

    Check out the training option at the top of the web page for some guidelines for constructing an industry standard logline.

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  3. Posted: April 19, 2016In:

    Two unlikely partners, whom have the ability to bend space, time, and travel universes endlessly, must learn the secrets of the universe to harness their powers while being hunted down by their future selves to prevent them from creating a cosmic and catastrophic nightmare.

    dpg Singularity

    What is the specific flaw these hyper-super-duper beings ?have that makes them such a potential threat to the cosmos? ?And what is the specific nature of the "cosmic and catastrophic nightmare"? ?And how is it possible for their "future selves" to have escaped this "cosmic and catastrophic nightmareRead more

    What is the specific flaw these hyper-super-duper beings ?have that makes them such a potential threat to the cosmos? ?And what is the specific nature of the “cosmic and catastrophic nightmare”? ?And how is it possible for their “future selves” to have escaped this “cosmic and catastrophic nightmare”?

    The whole premise seems to involve a lot of pseudo-scientific magic, requires an audience to suspend a lot of disbelief. ?A lot. ?Maybe too much.

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