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Waking up in hospital a soldier is told it is three years after his last memory. But people seem to be very interested about what he remembers about the war. He must figure out if he is sick or part of an elaborate scam to get information.
So far, it seems to me you have a situation in search of a plot. ?Which is okay when you're still brainstorming the concept.If you use narrative strategy #2, then the Big Reveal has got to be a whopper. ?(Like the one at the end of "The Sixth Sense".) Not that it would be part of the logline, of couRead more
So far, it seems to me you have a situation in search of a plot. ?Which is okay when you’re still brainstorming the concept.
If you use narrative strategy #2, then the Big Reveal has got to be a whopper. ?(Like the one at the end of “The Sixth Sense”.) Not that it would be part of the logline, of course, but do you have one in mind?
What unique?skill?or knowledge would a soldier, a mere government issued grunt, have that would justify such an elaborate scheme? ?What if, instead, he were a spy for the good guys. ?But the bad guys could?use the “amnesia” to persuade him that he was really a double-agent and now they want to debrief him about a specific operation to obtain crucial information.
And then what’s the McGuffin, the crucial information they want from him? ?Again, it’s got to be something that justifies such an elaborate scheme. ? I think the logline needs to be more particular on that point. ?Not that it would be revealed in a logline, of course, but do you have a McGuffin?
fwiw
See lessWhen a popular Irish family starts a brawl, a drunken priest nearly loses his shady Bingo game; clashing with a theatre and its gay producer in the same building, he turns the game into a New Religion.
I'm not sure ?how all these events causally concatenate to form an inciting incident even though it's billed as a comedy, a genre where chaos can be the norm. ?Be that as it may, the logline sets up a situation for a 1st Act, ?but fails to give a through line for a plot for the 2nd and 3rd Acts.WhatRead more
I’m not sure ?how all these events causally concatenate to form an inciting incident even though it’s billed as a comedy, a genre where chaos can be the norm. ?Be that as it may, the logline sets up a situation for a 1st Act, ?but fails to give a through line for a plot for the 2nd and 3rd Acts.
What happens in the 2nd Act???As a result of the drunken priest creating a new religion, what becomes the dramatic conflict and problem that drives the rest of the story? ?Who opposes the new religion? ?What are the stakes?
I suggest checking out the “Training” option at the top of the web page for guidelines on how building an industry standard logline.
See lessTwo unlikely partners, whom have the ability to bend space, time, and travel universes endlessly, must learn the secrets of the universe to harness their powers while being hunted down by their future selves to prevent them from creating a cosmic and catastrophic nightmare.
As Nir Shelter said: ?simplicity. ?I shudder to think of how much exposition it would take, how minutes of screen time, ?to set up the situation, explain all the magic to an audience.? Let alone the time it's going to take to?explain it to a producer or director in a story pitch.??Simplify, simplifyRead more
As Nir Shelter said: ?simplicity. ?I shudder to think of how much exposition it would take, how minutes of screen time, ?to set up the situation, explain all the magic to an audience.? Let alone the time it’s going to take to?explain it to a producer or director in a story pitch.??
Simplify, simplify, simplify. ?Less is more.
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