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  1. Posted: April 24, 2016In: Student Loglines

    An inexperienced rookie detective operates undercover in the Berlin nightlife to solve the mysterious vanishing of disco visitors until he himself becomes a victim of physical and psychological abuse.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 25, 2016 at 12:20 am

    As FFF said.And doesn't ?"until he himself becomes a victim of physical and psychological abuse" just ?mean he gets "beat up" in the course of his investigation? ?Less is more; two words are better than eleven. ?And for the purpose of a logline, they are aren't really necessary. ? It's understood thRead more

    As FFF said.

    And doesn’t ?”until he himself becomes a victim of physical and psychological abuse” just ?mean he gets “beat up” in the course of his investigation? ?Less is more; two words are better than eleven. ?And for the purpose of a logline, they are aren’t really necessary. ? It’s understood that violence comes with the job of being a detective and the genre of a murder mystery.

    Essentially, the story is about a rookie detective who must solve the mystery of disappearing visitors in Berlin. ?To solve the mystery, I presume he must dive into the criminal underworld. ?If you know your subject matter, have a unique perspective, that could make for an interesting story. What is so special about placing the mystery in Berlin, rather than, say, Paris or London, or New York?

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  2. Posted: April 23, 2016In: Drama

    Out on his own for the first time with no family or support, a mentally-challenged man with impulse control problems must overcome his limitations and face a series of cruel and indifferent characters as he chases his dream of a “normal” life.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 23, 2016 at 11:57 am

    Why is he out on his own? ?What is the inciting incident?And what is the nature of ?his "mental challenge"? ?Autism? Down syndrome? ?I think the logline should be more specific.

    Why is he out on his own? ?What is the inciting incident?

    And what is the nature of ?his “mental challenge”? ?Autism? Down syndrome? ?I think the logline should be more specific.

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  3. Posted: April 21, 2016In: Fantasy

    This is not a logline but a question. Will it be admissible for a logline for a SERIES be longer than a standard of 30 words (or so)?

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 23, 2016 at 11:51 am

    >>the difference between series and feature pitching, which is the function of a logline. >>Pitch the world not the people. ?If you pitch the world they will see that it can last forever Good points. ? ?But though the focus may be different in a logline for a series, brevity is still essRead more

    >>the difference between series and feature pitching, which is the function of a logline.
    >>Pitch the world not the people. ?If you pitch the world they will see that it can last forever

    Good points. ? ?But though the focus may be different in a logline for a series, brevity is still essential. ?We live in an era of ?media induced ADHD, ? of multitasking minds with ?short attention spans. ?This is especially true for the target audience for a logline — the industry movers and shakers. ?I am dubious that most of them would have the time and patience to read a 100 word logline?no matter how good it is.

    More than ever, less is, uh, more.

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