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When a devoted ex criminal desired to start a righteous past completes her prison term, she is dragged back into the criminal underworld after her son is kidnapped by her ex crime mob boss and forced to complete numerous tasks, before he ends up dead.
As Richiev said.In this version, the protagonist is presented as a passive, helpless victim of circumstances. The logline is a statement of the plot. And the plot is about what a protagonist who is defiantly proactive in the face of adversity.? This version casts the villain, the crime boss, as theRead more
As Richiev said.
In this version, the protagonist is presented as a passive, helpless victim of circumstances. The logline is a statement of the plot. And the plot is about what a protagonist who is defiantly proactive in the face of adversity.? This version casts the villain, the crime boss, as the character in the driver’s seat of the plot.? She needs to be driving the plot — not him. We know what he is doing.? What is she doing about what he is doing?
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See lessWhen an avid lens collector takes a photo with a mysterious camera, he is captured in a murder he can only hope to escape.
As Richiev said.? And instead of "avid lens collector" why not just say avid camera collector?>>>Is it better to be straight to the point instead of leaving a logline open ended?A logline should never give away the ending, but it should clearly indicate where the plot is going as defined byRead more
As Richiev said.? And instead of “avid lens collector” why not just say avid camera collector?
>>>Is it better to be straight to the point instead of leaving a logline open ended?
A logline should never give away the ending, but it should clearly indicate where the plot is going as defined by the protagonist’s objective goal motivated by the inciting incident.
A girls seeks plastic surgery to ‘glow up’ over summer break, only to corrupt herself and the world around her.
Certainly a topical subject with a lot of dramatic potential.? But the premise is rather general.? It needs, uh, fleshing out, more specifics, more detail, a tighter focus.Like how old is she?? And: what specific part of her anatomy does she want to "plasticize"?? Her nose, or...?Does she actually gRead more
Certainly a topical subject with a lot of dramatic potential.? But the premise is rather general.? It needs, uh, fleshing out, more specifics, more detail, a tighter focus.
Like how old is she?? And: what specific part of her anatomy does she want to “plasticize”?? Her nose, or…?
Does she actually get the surgery or is the plot about her struggle to persuade her parents to allow her to go under the knife? (The logline says is that “she seeks plastic surgery”; it doesn’t say she actually gets it.)
Also the logline frames the story primarily in terms of the blow back, the unintended consequences of the surgery.? And that vaguely: we are left utterly clueless as to how? she corrupts herself as well as her world.? “Corrupts herself and her world” can mean any one of a 1,001 consequences.? In a logline when terms can have a menu of possible meanings (pick one, dear reader)– then the term is meaningless as far as making the sale, getting movie makers to read the script.? Which is the primary purpose of a logline .
Anyway, of course, there are usually unintended consequences.? But a logline focuses on what the protagonist intends to accomplish, not what happens unintentionally. Plastic surgery is a means to an end, right? What is that end — what is her specific objective goal in having the surgery?? To join the “in group”, become popular?? To get a boyfriend?? Or…?
I suggest processing your logline through the site logline generator and see what the results are.
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