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  1. Posted: February 26, 2016In: Drama

    The true story of the militant suffrage leader imprisoned in 1917 for picketing the White House and given 48 hours to prove her sanity or be committed to an insane asylum.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 29, 2016 at 1:24 am

    FFF,? thanks for your feedback.That you find?the 48 hour tick clock?to be dramatic artifice is why?I initially leaned toward? "The true story of....".I'm not making up the? 48 hrs.?? The alienist (shrink) interviewed her over a?span of 2?days and then made his determination.?? He, and everyone else,Read more

    FFF,? thanks for your feedback.

    That you find?the 48 hour tick clock?to be dramatic artifice is why?I initially leaned toward? “The true story of….”.

    I’m not making up the? 48 hrs.?? The alienist (shrink) interviewed her over a?span of 2?days and then made his determination.?? He, and everyone else, was under the gun.? President Wilson demanded a report ASAP to deal with the bad publicity; the caca had hit the fan when?her ordeal was ?leaked to the press by sympathetic female jail wardens.

    And? the burden of proof was on her to prove her sanity as I explained in my reply to Tony Edward.

    >>>?I honestly can?t imagine what she can do ?(the more she says she?s right about her cause, the more everyone?will be convinced that she?s crazy).

    The answer is coming to a theater near you… some year…. hopefully.

    Again,?thanks for your comment.?? Obviously, I need to do some more work to craft a logline that is concise, clear — and credible.

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  2. Posted: February 27, 2016In: Examples

    When an introverted waitress falls in love, she must seek out the man of her dreams, learning to overcome her fear of rejection.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 28, 2016 at 7:04 am

    I presume the logline means to say that an introverted waitress falls in love with?a man and now she must find the psychological wherewithal to?dare pursue him despite the downside of rejection. ?(Being an introvert, she's? probably sending out signals to weak for him to pick up.)Well, as life long,Read more

    I presume the logline means to say that an introverted waitress falls in love with?a man and now she must find the psychological wherewithal to?dare pursue him despite the downside of rejection. ?(Being an introvert, she’s? probably sending out signals to weak for him to pick up.)

    Well, as life long, card-carrying introvert, I can sympathize with that predicament.? But that’s?the?problem I see in? the logline: it lays out a predicament — but not a plot.?

    Overcoming her fear of rejection is certainly her subjective need.? But, once again, loglines are about objective goals, not subjective needs.??A logline?ought to describe what a?character outwardly and actively does, not about what?she inwardly need to learn.

    I emphasize” outwardly” because film is a?an audio/?visual medium.? We? have can only know about what’s going on inside of characters heads by what they do on the outside, what they?say (dialogue) ?and do (action).

    So, as a result of falling in love, what becomes the woman’s objective goal?? What’s her specific game plan to win the man’s attention and affection?? What must she do in spite of? her introversion?

    How?can she turn?her perceived “character flaw” in her favor, prove that it is an asset not a liability?? I have reservations about calling a “character flaw”;? I consider it a strength, but,? tragically,?we introverts?have to?live?in a world where we are unfairly?outnumbered by extroverts, where extroverts have rigged the rules in their favor.

    Anyway, I want to root for the character, but I’m not sure what I’m rooting for her to accomplish. In other words, I don’t what the plot is.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: February 27, 2016In: Drama

    When an incorruptible young girl finds herself hired by a gang of thugs she faces prison time unless she can cover up or reverse their last crime.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 28, 2016 at 5:24 am

    >>?The Disney Gang?You might want to re-think that title.? The Disney Corp is fiercely protective, notoriously litigious about protecting their brand name.? Other than exploiting the name for commercial purposes, what purpose does it serve?? Which is to say, what is the dramatic purpose of namRead more

    >>?The Disney Gang?

    You might want to re-think that title.? The Disney Corp is fiercely protective, notoriously litigious about protecting their brand name.? Other than exploiting the name for commercial purposes, what purpose does it serve?? Which is to say, what is the dramatic purpose of naming it the “Disney Gang”.? What irreplaceable loss is there to the story by naming the gang something else?

    Loglines are not about “lessons learned”?about ?loyalty, honest, love, or life .? Those lessons?pertain to subjective issues.? Loglines are about objective goals.? Save the “lessons learned” for the script.

    So, as a result of discovering that she hired?herself out to criminals, what must she DO — not learn — but DO.? What becomes her objective goal?

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