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a narcissistic young woman must learn to love unconditionally before she can save her suicidal friend, after a hunky surfer interrupts her rehabilitation plan she has organised for her friend’s recovery.
I sense some ingredients for an interesting drama.? But I can't figure what the recipe is, what will ultimately ?whet an audience's appetite for the story."Learning to love unconditionally" may be her subjective need, but loglines are not explicitly ?about subjective needs.?Loglines are explicitly ?Read more
I sense some ingredients for an interesting drama.? But I can’t figure what the recipe is, what will ultimately ?whet an audience’s appetite for the story.
“Learning to love unconditionally” may be her subjective need, but loglines are not explicitly ?about subjective needs.?Loglines are explicitly ?about objective goals.? Her objective goal seems to be to save her friend from acting on her suicidal impulses.? But then if she’s narcissistic what’s the?emotional hook — what’s motivating her to engage in an intervention in her friend’s life?
The complication seems to be? a “hunky surfer”.?? But how he complicates her rehabilitation plan is rather vague.? For one thing, whom does he interrupt?? The young woman? The friend?? Both?
And what does ?”interrupt” mean? I think it would help to sell the story to ?more specifically stipulate jeopardy the surfer presents.
fwiw
See lessWhen an eccentric skydiving physicist discovers he can skydive off cliffs, he must stay alive as he pushes the boundaries of this newfound way of life. ‘Sunshine Superman’
I agree with Nir Shelter.? It sets up a situation for a possible plot but falls short of outlining one.? The physicist certainly wants to? stay alive -- but to what end?? What objective goal does he settle on as a result discovering he can skydive off cliffs?? Half the stakes are there:? he'll killRead more
I agree with Nir Shelter.? It sets up a situation for a possible plot but falls short of outlining one.? The physicist certainly wants to? stay alive — but to what end?? What objective goal does he settle on as a result discovering he can skydive off cliffs?? Half the stakes are there:? he’ll kill himself he fails — but what’s the upside?? What does he stand to gain by his skydiving besides an ephemeral thrill?? Ultimately, what’s the dramatic purpose and meaning?of his pursuit?
See lessRecent English grad sets out to climb the corporate ladder of a tech company, with only the jets setting CEO?s memoir as a guide.
For more comedy? I suggest making her female as there are so few of them in the tech biz?at any level.And?she's ?Black? there are even fewer of those.Or Indian as in Native American Indian?(from an obscure tribe with a difficult to pronounce name).? But she's hired because they think she's South AsiRead more
For more comedy? I suggest making her female as there are so few of them in the tech biz?at any level.
And?she’s ?Black? there are even fewer of those.
Or Indian as in Native American Indian?(from an obscure tribe with a difficult to pronounce name).? But she’s hired because they think she’s South Asian Indian.
fwiw
See less