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Two serial killers struggle to curb their appetites for carnage while avoiding each other?s path and dodging the law.
Now I am? confused.? Is the good gal detective? the protagonist?? Is so, then the logline? needs to be written from her frame of reference ? not that of the serial killers. A logline should always be written with the protagonist, the main character, ?as its subject.? Why?? Because that's how agentsRead more
Now I am? confused.? Is the good gal detective? the protagonist?? Is so, then the logline? needs to be written from her frame of reference ? not that of the serial killers.
A logline should always be written with the protagonist, the main character, ?as its subject.? Why?? Because that’s how agents look for scripts for their clients.? Suppose?the agent for at bankable,?middle aged, A list female actor is looking for her client’s next film.? Reading this? version of the logline? would give her no clue that this story has a big?role for a female, ?that it just might be?right for her client.? So she passes, doesn’t even give the script a read.? And so will every agent for every other middle-aged female actor.
Loglines are about selling the steak by selling the sizzle?? So?what’s the? sizzle of this story? Two serial murderers on the lam trying not run into each other ?or an alcoholic female detective trying to catch them?
See lessTwo serial killers struggle to curb their appetites for carnage while avoiding each other?s path and dodging the law.
Not only is there no obvious good guy, there are two ostensible villains.? Whom is the audience supposed to identify/empathize with?? The lack of a character in the logline that the audience would naturally root for makes it a tough concept to sell. Well, if that's the story you want to tell, I? wouRead more
Not only is there no obvious good guy, there are two ostensible villains.? Whom is the audience supposed to identify/empathize with?? The lack of a character in the logline that the audience would naturally root for makes it a tough concept to sell.
Well, if that’s the story you want to tell, I? would hope that it’s more than a slasher-basher story, that what the logline lacks in immediate character appeal is more than compensated for in the script by a? probing dramatization of the psychopathology.
And if that’s the way you want to go, then I suggest a modest tweak to the logline:
Two serial killers struggle to curb their compulsion to kill while avoiding each other’s path and dodging the law.
See lessIn a world where youth unemployment is the norm, a depressed teen looks for alternatives online but is subsumed by a social media hive-mind bent on the destruction of America?s most sacred institution: the mall.
Well, malls in the United States are on the decline with predictions that the worse is yet to come.? No conspiracy theory of a "social media-hive mind bent" is required to explain it.? It's another instance of what the economist Joseph Schumpeter called the amoral tendency toward 'creative destructiRead more
Well, malls in the United States are on the decline with predictions that the worse is yet to come.? No conspiracy theory of a “social media-hive mind bent” is required to explain it.? It’s another instance of what the economist Joseph Schumpeter called the amoral tendency toward ‘creative destruction’ intrinsic to capitalism, in this case the consequence of newer technological systems subverting older systems of marketing and sales.
However,? since the genre for this story is sci-fi,? you have the creative liberty to? weave a credible alternative explanation.
The central problem that I see with the concept is that the main character is presented as nothing more than a hapless victim rather than a protagonist, a proactive agent of his destiny.? First he’s cast as the the victim of a scarcity of employment opportunities, then he is “subsumed” in the hive-mind.
What’s so exciting about being victimized, sucked into the hive-mind?? What MUST he do about being “subsumed”?? What becomes his objective goal?? What are? the stakes?? Not just for the “sacred institution” of the shopping mall, but for him personally.? What does he stand to lose if he fails to achieve his goal?? What does he stand to gain if he succeeds?
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