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A man who thought he could change the traditional values and cultural status quo of his local community and who in the process, unwittingly challenged the powers that be. Powers embedded in the system to protect against and ensure such atrocity would not take flight; thus dangerously endangering his life and that of the members of his family. From the rural lands to the bright lights of an unknown and strange city, the battle raged.
As noted,?the logline is?too long and too general.? Almost every drama is essentially a story about someone who?takes on the??status quo, ?who challenges the powers-that-be, who? puts his life in jeopardy.?? This?logline needs particulars, specifics.
As noted,?the logline is?too long and too general.? Almost every drama is essentially a story about someone who?takes on the??status quo, ?who challenges the powers-that-be, who? puts his life in jeopardy.?? This?logline needs particulars, specifics.
See lessDisillusioned with God and the modern world, an immortal man suffering from an existential crisis attempts to immanentize the eschaton- bring heaven on Earth. He resorts to murder and underhandedness as means to justify his end. Title: Aeturnum
Ask kbfilmworks said. I have no idea what the story is about.? Nor how "bring heaven on earth" translates into a specific objective goal.? Or why I should want to care about a character who is so amoral?that he?"resorts to murder and underhandedness as a means to justify his end". The one thing I knRead more
Ask kbfilmworks said.
I have no idea what the story is about.? Nor how “bring heaven on earth” translates into a specific objective goal.? Or why I should want to care about a character who is so amoral?that he?”resorts to murder and underhandedness as a means to justify his end”.
The one thing I know for certain is that the logline should drop “immanentize the eschaton”.?? 99.573% of the people who read the phrase? will have no idea what the means.? Loglines should inform, not confuse or puzzle.
See lessA young couple become intruders in their own home after they discover it’s being shared by a couple who look exactly like them.
A story premised on the predicament of the double or doppelganger is rich in?dramatic possibilities.? Which is why there?is already a?number of films?based on that premise.? One of the most famous is Hitchcock's "Vertigo" and the one that came to mind when I read this logline was "The Double", the 2Read more
A story premised on the predicament of the double or doppelganger is rich in?dramatic possibilities.? Which is why there?is already a?number of films?based on that premise.? One of the most famous is Hitchcock’s “Vertigo” and the one that came to mind when I read this logline was “The Double”, the 2013 adaptation of Dostoevsky’s novella.
And, hey, any idea??worthy of?treatment?by Fyodor Dostoevsky and Alfred Hitchock?is certainly worth another go around.? But what would distinguish this effort from theirs and all the other treatments?? What’s the hook, the unique twist?
In “The Double”, the hook, the running gag, ?is that the personality of the doppelganger is the polar opposite of the protagonist. Unlike the protagonist, the double has the extroverted?charisma to impress the boss, get promoted and also score with the girls.? (A similar gag Charlie Kaufman played around with his identical twins in “Adaptation”)
So, given that the predicament of the dual protagonist in your concept, kbfilmworks, what is the hook, the running gag?? What becomes their goal?? What MUST they do about the situation they find themselves in?
I have no idea where you are going with the story and, of course, you don’t want to give away the ending, but one possibility that came to my mind is that protagonist?couple have kids — and the doppelganger couple are so much more appealing and better parents. Hence, the kids want to dump their real parents for the doppelganger couple.? So the stakes would be greater than just winning back their residence; they must win back the hearts and minds of their kids.? (Echoing the predicament of the protagonist in the new film “Daddy’s Home”, I know, but it’s an enduring, perhaps archetypal, conflict.)
Anyway, as I said, it’s a premise rich in dramatic possibilities.?? But I suggest the logline needs a little more specifics in order, to differentiate the story you want to tell?from?that of all the ?other double/doppelganger films already out there.
fwiw.
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