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  1. Posted: October 14, 2015In: Drama

    Charles needs to rebuild his relationship with his son. Michael needs to stop Zoe from having their baby, whilst Andrew needs to get Rachael pregnant! And Jason has a secret that is going to shock everyone. The brotherhood is about to become the Fatherhood. And its likely there will be some casualties along the way.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 14, 2015 at 7:57 am

    Why disperse the attention of the audience -- and dilute emotional bonding-- among 4 characters?? What's the thesis that you want to dramatize by?lumping them all together into?what seems like a potpourri of a ?story?? Why not focus on just one?Which one has the strongest story line, the most compelRead more

    Why disperse the attention of the audience — and dilute emotional bonding– among 4 characters?? What’s the thesis that you want to dramatize by?lumping them all together into?what seems like a potpourri of a ?story?? Why not focus on just one?

    Which one has the strongest story line, the most compelling issues to deal with?

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  2. Posted: October 14, 2015In: Drama

    Four thirty-something guys deal with different stages of fatherhood, whilst working out along the way that they have barely grown up themselves.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 14, 2015 at 7:54 am

    >>>All four are main characters So it seems to be?a "buddy film", an ensemble story where the characters lives revolve around the theme of fatherhood.??Okay, but?as written this logline is a statement of a ?concept rather than a plot.? And loglines are about plots.? A plot gives an indicatiRead more

    >>>All four are main characters

    So it seems to be?a “buddy film”, an ensemble story where the characters lives revolve around the theme of fatherhood.??Okay, but?as written this logline is a statement of a ?concept rather than a plot.? And loglines are about plots.? A plot gives an indication of where?the?story is going to go with the concept.

    So??four guys are?about to become fathers.?Then what happens?? ?What dramatic need arises as a result?that requires an objective goal to resolve? What’s the character flaw that may make them fail to rise to the demands of the role of being fathers?? What’s the hook in this concept that differentiates it from other stories about fatherhood?

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  3. Posted: October 10, 2015In: Horror

    When a car accident leads a young couple into their nightmares to an accursed clinic, aborting a foetus demon means life or death to whoever wakes up first.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 12, 2015 at 1:04 pm

    I am unable to make sense of the story. "leads.. into their nightmares" -- does that mean both of them are unconscious after the accident? "means life or death to whoever wakes up first".? So ... whoever wakes up 1st lives or dies? "aborting a foetus demon"? -- and if it's not aborted, what are theRead more

    I am unable to make sense of the story. “leads.. into their nightmares” — does that mean both of them are unconscious after the accident?
    “means life or death to whoever wakes up first”.? So … whoever wakes up 1st lives or dies?
    “aborting a foetus demon”? — and if it’s not aborted, what are the consequences, the stakes?? Do both parents die? Just the mother?

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