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  1. Posted: August 23, 2015In: Public

    The true life misadventures of a couple who try to save their failing marriage and reignite their dull sex life and relationship by daringly moonlighting as an ?escort duo? and experiencing the fantasies of others.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 27, 2015 at 4:57 am

    Furtherless: While I'm not yet sure as to what the logline should include for your story, I am fairly sure what it should not include. "Changing thousands of lives and saving many marriages along the way." probably ought to be dropped out. Why? Because it's giving away the ending. A logline should mRead more

    Furtherless:

    While I’m not yet sure as to what the logline should include for your story, I am fairly sure what it should not include. “Changing thousands of lives and saving many marriages along the way.” probably ought to be dropped out.

    Why? Because it’s giving away the ending. A logline should make people wonder how it will all work out, but it should never tell them. Raise an implied question, yes, but don’t answer it.

    Again, consider, the logline for “Breaking Bad”. It would never say how the saga of Walter White is going to play out, like “When a law-abiding chemistry teacher is diagnosed with a fatal cancer, he decides to cook meth to earn enough money to pay for treatment and provide for his family after his death which he succeeds in doing but in the process causes the death of innocent people, loses his soul and all the people he loves.”

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  2. Posted: August 23, 2015In: Public

    The true life misadventures of a couple who try to save their failing marriage and reignite their dull sex life and relationship by daringly moonlighting as an ?escort duo? and experiencing the fantasies of others.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 27, 2015 at 4:21 am

    A treatment for a feature film beats out a story that concludes with a denouement: story lines conclude, conflicts are resolved. End of story. FADE OUT A treatment for a series pilot beats out a story that concludes with a cliffhanger: story lines are developed but not concluded. Conflicts are set uRead more

    A treatment for a feature film beats out a story that concludes with a denouement: story lines conclude, conflicts are resolved. End of story. FADE OUT

    A treatment for a series pilot beats out a story that concludes with a cliffhanger: story lines are developed but not concluded. Conflicts are set up but not resolved. The audience is left wondering and wanting to know what happens next. FADE OUT Tune in next week to find out.

    A film treatment ends with a period. A series treatment ends with an exclamation point (surprising reveal, a suspenseful twist) and a question mark (what happens next?)

    A treatment serves the purpose of providing producers with evidence that there is enough dramatic material to warrant going to the next step which is to invest time and serious money in development. (Like hiring a professional screenwriter to write a script.)

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  3. Posted: August 26, 2015In: Public

    On the eve of his gay uncle?s anniversary dinner, Marcus must again struggle with alcohol and the impact it continues to have on the family.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 27, 2015 at 1:31 am

    I think CraigDGriffiths has a good approach. I think your concept has an interesting collection of dramatic ideas, but I would like to suggest two other constellations of those ideas for your consideration: 1] The nephew's family writes him off, wants nothing to do with him because he has fallen offRead more

    I think CraigDGriffiths has a good approach. I think your concept has an interesting collection of dramatic ideas, but I would like to suggest two other constellations of those ideas for your consideration:

    1] The nephew’s family writes him off, wants nothing to do with him because he has fallen off the wagon so many times, caused so much trouble (broken marriage, repeated DUI arrests, car accidents, lost his job). Only the gay uncle, the family outcast because of his sexual orientation, takes pity on him, bails him out of his latest DUI arrest, takes him in helps him recover. [A modern day playing out of the parable of the Good Samaritan.]

    2] The gay uncle is the alcoholic. He’s been written off by the family because he has fallen off the wagon so many times, caused so much trouble. And his gay orientation so offends the traditional values of his kin. So he’s an outcast. Everybody has given up on him, consigned him to jail (he’s just been arrested again for DUI) and hell, want nothing to do with him.

    Except one (uber-straight) nephew. For whom the gay uncle has always been his favorite relative. Who over the strenuous objections of everyone else in the family (including his wife) and in spite of his own traditional values, bails his uncle out, takes him in, helps him recover.

    Either way, the uncle’s gay orientation becomes central to the story. (Which would pique my interest as a script reader or producer more than a story where the uncle’s sexual orientation seems somewhat incidental to the main conflict.)

    fwiw

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