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An out-world war destines a bio-molecular energy, ineffectual in fusion with any previous life form to Planet Earth, where a benevolent and jubilant father-to-be unwittingly absorbs it and must engage in battle with the implacable beings pursuing the power source for galactic dominion.
My m.o. is to read a logline quickly, often while multitasking -- simulating the way I think Hollyweird directors and producers would as people with very busy schedules, lots of people, scripts, loglines and pitches clamoring for their attention. Ideally, the concept in a logline should be crystal cRead more
My m.o. is to read a logline quickly, often while multitasking — simulating the way I think Hollyweird directors and producers would as people with very busy schedules, lots of people, scripts, loglines and pitches clamoring for their attention. Ideally, the concept in a logline should be crystal clear on the 1st read to anyone under those circumstances, and it should hook their interest.
I have read this logline 3 times s-l-o-w-l-y trying to figure out what the story is about. And I still don’t know. Others’ mileage may vary, but I am totally clueless as to why the expectant father MUST “engage” (what does that mean?) with these “implacable beings”.
See lessAs he chronicles one tenacious man’s fight to survive after a nuclear holocaust decimates life on Earth, a dedicated and determined alien observer must decide whether to obey or defy orders to terminate humanity.
>>>Civilization has fallen and one survivor of the apocalypse In a post-apocalyptic world, one survivor... Again "post-apocalyptic" says it all >>"mysterious entity" -- Yahweh? Vishnu? Aliens? ET? Once again, rather vague. And mysterious doesn't necessarily imply that it's malevolent, destructive --Read more
>>>Civilization has fallen and one survivor of the apocalypse
In a post-apocalyptic world, one survivor… Again “post-apocalyptic” says it all
>>”mysterious entity” — Yahweh? Vishnu? Aliens? ET? Once again, rather vague. And mysterious doesn’t necessarily imply that it’s malevolent, destructive — so why must the survivor convince it to spare homo sapiens? Alas, it’s perfectly plausible, and the prevailing cultural paranoia, that our species is all too capable of rendering itself extinct. No outside help is required.
What is implicit in you concept, so far as I understand it, is that basically homo sapiens lacks the agency to determine his own fate. We are at the mercy of some other agency/entity/species just as the fate of most other species on the planet are at the mercy of our whimsy (and folly).
Bummer. That’s a concept that will sell a lot of tickets and popcorn.
I find intriguing the notion that we who think we are running the show on this planet are actually running a maze like rats; we are test subject in a superior intelligence’s experiment. It confirms all my suspicions about life on planet earth, all my existential anxieties. But I frankly am dubious that the premise is marketable as far as I can discern it’s present design. Unless it’s a story about how human beings outwit this uber-intelligence, break out of the maze, fight for — not beg for — their freedom and survival. Is it?
See lessAs he chronicles one tenacious man’s fight to survive after a nuclear holocaust decimates life on Earth, a dedicated and determined alien observer must decide whether to obey or defy orders to terminate humanity.
>>>Civilization has fallen Translation: In a post-apocalyptic world, after a survivor discovers... "Post-apocalyptic" may seem like a clich?. And it is. It's also shorthand that quickly conveys the genre of the story. You gotta use every gimmick at hand to compress the essence of your concept into (Read more
>>>Civilization has fallen
Translation: In a post-apocalyptic world, after a survivor discovers…
“Post-apocalyptic” may seem like a clich?. And it is. It’s also shorthand that quickly conveys the genre of the story. You gotta use every gimmick at hand to compress the essence of your concept into (ideally) no more than 30 words.
>> one survivor of the apocalypse discovers that humanity is nothing more than rats in a maze
How about: after one survivor discovers that humanity are experimental rats in alien maze, he must…
>>>race against time to prove humanity
Good. A ticking clock.
>> prove humanity is worth saving.
There are 2 problems with this as an objective goal:. It’s 1] vague and 2] abstract. Movies are first and foremost a visual medium. What does “worth saving” look like? What’s the visual on that? The material object, the prop that lets the audience know the protagonist has succeeded (or failed)?
In the post-apocalyptic world of Mad Max: Fury Road the objective goals of Max and Furiosa are material and visual. Furiosa wants to find The Green Place. Max Max wants to overthrow the tyrannical regime at The Citadel. But the Green Place turns out to be a muddy alkali waste. If you’ve seen the movie then images of what the Green Place looks like is flashing through your mind. As well as images of the Citadel and its population.
What images are supposed to flash into our minds in your story that ID the objective goal of your protagonist?
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