Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
As he chronicles one tenacious man’s fight to survive after a nuclear holocaust decimates life on Earth, a dedicated and determined alien observer must decide whether to obey or defy orders to terminate humanity.
The English poet John Milton wrote a 'trifle' epic poem called "Paradise Lost" on a similar theme, only the experiment was designed and run by God -- not aliens. Anyway, whatever the nuts and bolts of your plot, the overarching theme seems to hinge on the question: is homo sapiens worthy keeping aliRead more
The English poet John Milton wrote a ‘trifle’ epic poem called “Paradise Lost” on a similar theme, only the experiment was designed and run by God — not aliens.
Anyway, whatever the nuts and bolts of your plot, the overarching theme seems to hinge on the question: is homo sapiens worthy keeping alive.
WHY are the aliens pulling the plug on their experiment? In a properly designed experiment, a hypothesis is posed that the experiment will either prove or disapprove. So are they closing down the experiment because it has proved the hypothesis? Or disproved it? What is the operative hypothesis — the whole point of the experiment?
See lessAs he chronicles one tenacious man’s fight to survive after a nuclear holocaust decimates life on Earth, a dedicated and determined alien observer must decide whether to obey or defy orders to terminate humanity.
How about something like: A shy and troubled man discovers that he, and he alone, has XX hours to save humanity from extermination before aliens from another galaxy shut down their 6,000 year experiment on the human race A logline is sales tool and what it should sell is the sizzle, not the steak. MRead more
How about something like:
A shy and troubled man discovers that he, and he alone, has XX hours to save humanity from extermination before aliens from another galaxy shut down their 6,000 year experiment on the human race
A logline is sales tool and what it should sell is the sizzle, not the steak. My version is my take on what I understand to be the sizzle of your concept.
Tweak the time left on the ticking clock (24 hours, 48… 72… (That he’s is a college student and it’s a post-apocalyptic world, yada-yada may be central to the story — but I don’t see them as central to the logline. (More important than his status as a student is his character flaw. That he’s a college student may implicitly but not explicitly enhance dramatic tension, raise suspense as to whether he’s up to the task.)
Final thought: have you considered making the protagonist female? Hollyweird seems to be waking up to the realization that a strong female character can sell tickets for action and sci-fi films. Particularly if the female character appeals to the Young Adult demographic. In which case, I would suggest something like:
“A shy and and troubled teenage girl discovers that she, and she alone, has XX hours….”
fwiw
See lessAn out-world war destines a bio-molecular energy, ineffectual in fusion with any previous life form to Planet Earth, where a benevolent and jubilant father-to-be unwittingly absorbs it and must engage in battle with the implacable beings pursuing the power source for galactic dominion.
Richiev, as usual, puts his finger on a fundamental problem and has some constructive ideas. I agree with him that it would be better if the character appeared to be acting rather than being acted upon. This story seems -- seems, I'm just guessing -- to be a variant of the Genie in the bottle motif.Read more
Richiev, as usual, puts his finger on a fundamental problem and has some constructive ideas. I agree with him that it would be better if the character appeared to be acting rather than being acted upon.
This story seems — seems, I’m just guessing — to be a variant of the Genie in the bottle motif. That is, the protagonist comes into a possession (or is imbued) with some superhuman, ultra-awesome power. What is he going to do with this gift, this unearned power? What MUST he do with it?
See less