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When lonely long-haul truck driver D Forde falls in love online with a city writer and single mother, he must cross more than the Nullarbor to overcome his fear of abandonment and win her heart.
Hey, Louise! My take is: When a shy long-haul truck driver falls in love online with a sophisticated city writer on the other side of Australia, he risks all to cross the Outback and the cultural gap that separates them to win her heart. Notes: I changed it from Nullarbor to Outback in order to incrRead more
Hey, Louise! My take is:
When a shy long-haul truck driver falls in love online with a sophisticated city writer on the other side of Australia, he risks all to cross the Outback and the cultural gap that separates them to win her heart.
Notes:
I changed it from Nullarbor to Outback in order to increase the physical risk and effort he must make, is willing to undertake — that’s how besotted with love he is.
I chose “shy” rather than “lonely” because the latter is a problem while the former is a character flaw. And I described her as “sophisticated” to suggest another obstacle — their contrasting/clashing backgrounds and socio-economic status.
As did Richiev, I dropped “single mother” to tighten it up. My thinking is it that while it’s great for the story it isn’t necessary for the logline. But I kept “online” because I think it is a key catalyst.
Hope this helps.
See lessAfter an explosion, a marine wakes up in a place with other people from different times, his mission is to lead the group to recover artifacts spread in different times in history and avoid an alien invasion in the future.
Exactly what Tony Edward said. As written, the logline gives a script reader an excuse not to read the script rather than a reason to read it. The logline logic doesn't compute: there is no causal connection between the aliens and the artifacts.
Exactly what Tony Edward said. As written, the logline gives a script reader an excuse not to read the script rather than a reason to read it. The logline logic doesn’t compute: there is no causal connection between the aliens and the artifacts.
See lessFollowing a botched circumcision while defending a drug-addicted prostitute accused of murder after years of abuse at the hands of her alcoholic mother and stepfather… Wan Hung Lo goes on a quest to find the doctor who did it to him.
In certain cultures, circumcision is common at prescribed times according to traditional religious rituals (Judaism and Islam). But AFAIK it's rare in China. So the question remains: why would the main character even think of getting circumcised?
In certain cultures, circumcision is common at prescribed times according to traditional religious rituals (Judaism and Islam). But AFAIK it’s rare in China. So the question remains: why would the main character even think of getting circumcised?
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