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  1. Posted: January 22, 2014In: Public

    When lonely long-haul truck driver D Forde falls in love online with a city writer and single mother, he must cross more than the Nullarbor to overcome his fear of abandonment and win her heart.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 24, 2014 at 7:40 am

    Is there a ticking clock in your story, some complication that adds urgency to his quest?

    Is there a ticking clock in your story, some complication that adds urgency to his quest?

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  2. Posted: January 19, 2014In: Public

    ?Sent to evaluate the crew and staff of a new U.S. state-of-the-art nuclear submarine during its trial runs, the head of the U. S. DoD PsyOps Division discovers her vengeful ex husband has planted a computer virus to destroy her while on board. Will this deadly psychological war destroy everything??

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 23, 2014 at 7:40 am

    FWIW: A routine evaluation of a new submarine's crew by the head of the U.S. DoD PsyOps turns into a crisis threatening to sink the sub with all aboard when her vengeful ex-husband infects the computer systems with a virus. But.... if you're still aiming to write the story as an NCIS episode, I don'Read more

    FWIW:
    A routine evaluation of a new submarine’s crew by the head of the U.S. DoD PsyOps turns into a crisis threatening to sink the sub with all aboard when her vengeful ex-husband infects the computer systems with a virus.

    But…. if you’re still aiming to write the story as an NCIS episode, I don’t see the fit with the core gimmick of the NCIS franchise; that is, agents solve mysteries. Episodes open with a crime and/or crime scene; there’s a whodunit-whydunit mystery to be solved, right? The whodunit here is the ex-husband. The whydoneit is revenge. What’s the mystery to be solved here?

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  3. Posted: January 23, 2014In: Public

    An extroverted overweight attorney-turned-actress falls in love with an introverted younger personal trainer and embarks on a life-changing romance. Even though they both know from the beginning that they want different things in life and their time together is limited, they risk their hearts to learn from each other until it is time to say goodbye.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 23, 2014 at 6:19 am

    It's an interesting initial situation. So they have no initial expectations of "till death do us part". And then what? What's the complication, the problem that drives the story? One of them decides he/she does want to make it "till death do us part", but other wants to break up and move on?

    It’s an interesting initial situation. So they have no initial expectations of “till death do us part”. And then what? What’s the complication, the problem that drives the story? One of them decides he/she does want to make it “till death do us part”, but other wants to break up and move on?

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