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It's a interesting logline, but as is often the case in time-traveling scenarios, ordering a credible sequence of events can be challenging. If the terrorist is the son-to-be, and the father encounters him in the past -- that is before the son is born -- then it follows that the son must also be a tRead more
It’s a interesting logline, but as is often the case in time-traveling scenarios, ordering a credible sequence of events can be challenging. If the terrorist is the son-to-be, and the father encounters him in the past — that is before the son is born — then it follows that the son must also be a time traveler, doesn’t it? Don’t they have to meet in the past? Or…?
Anyway, for your consideration:
To prevent the government of a future world from terminating her illegal pregnancy, a woman must join forces with a time-traveling terrorist — the very son she?s trying to save.
Rationale:
> It’s 30 words versus 38 for the original time line.
>The protagonist as a woman would have a more immediate, urgent and visceral stake in linking up with the terrorist than the father: she’s the one whose body will be violated – not his.
fwiw.
See lessA former Marines first day at Walmart is turned upside down when eco-terrorist capture the store and take his sister hostage.
On his first day at Walmart, a ex-marine discharged for post-traumatic stress disorder must save his sister when eco-terrorists seize the store and take hostages. Adding a character flaw.
On his first day at Walmart, a ex-marine discharged for post-traumatic stress disorder must save his sister when eco-terrorists seize the store and take hostages.
Adding a character flaw.
See lessA recovering alcoholic, teetering on the brink of relapse, uncovers a shadowy 12-step labyrinth of blackmail, human trafficking and murder while he probes the brutal death of his sponsor.
I realize that revisiting old habitats would would be triggers for old habits -- a serious enough threat to the character flaw. But it seems to me it would make for a more interesting story (and more original?) if a good sponsor turns out to be a bad person. As you know, the AA program emphasizes thRead more
I realize that revisiting old habitats would would be triggers for old habits — a serious enough threat to the character flaw.
But it seems to me it would make for a more interesting story (and more original?) if a good sponsor turns out to be a bad person. As you know, the AA program emphasizes that sponsor are no saints, and they are the 1st ones to say so themselves. Sobriety is a state of mind, not a state of moral rectitude. Even so, the undercurrents of psychological transference in the relationship make it almost unavoidable for newbies to look up to their sponsors as role models. And then to find out…
Anyway, it’s your story. Good luck, whatever way you decide to tell it.
See less