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After defrauding his friends and family and subsequently faking his own suicide, Harvey returns years later to find a last-minute match for a kidney transplant he desperately needs to stay alive.
LOL! That would be great title if the organ in need wasn't a kidney. As far the logline itself, it's got all the ingredients: a protagonist with a character flaw and urgent goal. The antagonists are implied: all the people he exploited and deceived. The stakes are life and death. My only tweak wouldRead more
LOL! That would be great title if the organ in need wasn’t a kidney.
As far the logline itself, it’s got all the ingredients: a protagonist with a character flaw and urgent goal. The antagonists are implied: all the people he exploited and deceived. The stakes are life and death.
My only tweak would be to tighten up the logline and eliminate the the character’s name (it’s not required). Thus:
Years after defrauding his friends and family and faking his suicide, a man returns to find a match for a kidney transplant he desperately needs to stay alive.
A minor quibble. This is a story I want to see on the silver screen. Best wishes making it happen, ath579!
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>>The TERMINATOR The box-office mojo of James Cameron's story wasn't just in the concept -- it had one of all time great villains, a robotic assassin. (and the role was perfectly cast by The Arnold). It takes a great villain to make a great hero. Do you have an equivalent antagonist who is the evilRead more
>>The TERMINATOR
The box-office mojo of James Cameron’s story wasn’t just in the concept — it had one of all time great villains, a robotic assassin. (and the role was perfectly cast by The Arnold). It takes a great villain to make a great hero. Do you have an equivalent antagonist who is the evil incarnate personification of the Big Bad Future Government?
>>paradox
Indeed. I take your point.
>> the protag?s journey from not wanting to be a father to doing everything he can to become that father.
That is the issue that most compels my interest in your concept. Good luck fleshing out the story.
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Okay, but... Your original premise raises the dramatic question: Will the state succeed in aborting the pregnancy? "To stop the government of a future world terminating his wife?s illegal pregnancy..." That's the stated protagonist's goal: to prevent the state from aborting the pregnancy, right? NowRead more
Okay, but…
Your original premise raises the dramatic question: Will the state succeed in aborting the pregnancy? “To stop the government of a future world terminating his wife?s illegal pregnancy…” That’s the stated protagonist’s goal: to prevent the state from aborting the pregnancy, right?
Now if the son exists in the future, then haven’t you given away the answer in the logline and well before the 3rd Act of the story? To wit, the answer to the dramatic question is: the state fails to abort the pregnancy.
So where’s the suspense? What I am supposed to worry about? The kid turns out to be a terrorist — so what? What’s the theme, what’s at stake in the story?
As said, these time traveling scenarios can bend the mind. I think your concept has intriguing possibilities; the plot can fork in several directions. But I’m not sure which fork is being taken.
regards.
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