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A whistle blowing scientist is forced back into service by the military when her own top-secret anti-gravitational experiment goes awry.
The logline is about a setup for a plot rather than the plot itself. So... a scientist blows the whistle on her own failed experiment and is punished by being re-drafted? Then what? What becomes her objective goal after that? What's the urgency? What are the stakes if she fails? [The military re-draRead more
The logline is about a setup for a plot rather than the plot itself.
So… a scientist blows the whistle on her own failed experiment and is punished by being re-drafted? Then what? What becomes her objective goal after that? What’s the urgency? What are the stakes if she fails?
[The military re-drafting her stretches credulity if the setting is any liberalized Western country where the draft is voluntary. And why would they force her back into the service when they have plenty of other means, legal and extralegal, at their disposal to coerce her into silence or submission or whatever?]
See lessA high school graduate prepares to move out of his childhood home. However, in order to pursue a future in journalism, he must first let go of the memories that are tying him down.
"Learn to let go of the past" is vague, subjective and backward looking. The logline is about the plot. And the conventional plot is about a (1) specific objective goal (2) a protagonist must achieve looking and going forward in time in spite of a (3)character flaw and (4)opposition from an antagoniRead more
“Learn to let go of the past” is vague, subjective and backward looking.
The logline is about the plot. And the conventional plot is about a (1) specific objective goal (2) a protagonist must achieve looking and going forward in time in spite of a (3)character flaw and (4)opposition from an antagonist–5)or else.
So:
See lessOBJECTIVE GOAL: What does the young want to accomplish going forward with his life after graduation?
CHARACTER FLAW: What hinders him internally from accomplishing it?
ANTAGONIST: Who opposes him externally from accomplishing the goal?
STAKES: “Or else” –What does he stand to lose if he fails?
The summer of 1978 will change a group of young ghost investigators lives forever ? they must solve the mystery at the heart of their rural seaside town and catch a villain with nothing more than their wits and chopper bikes all the while growing together as they grow up.
"Chopper bikes" -- definitely confusing. Who is the primary ghost hunter (aka: protagonist)? What's at stake? That is, why must they solve the mystery? What happens if they don't solve the mystery?
“Chopper bikes” — definitely confusing.
Who is the primary ghost hunter (aka: protagonist)?
See lessWhat’s at stake? That is, why must they solve the mystery? What happens if they don’t solve the mystery?