Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
\"A skeptical young man frantically searches for the malevolent entity that took his father\"
Skeptical about what? The existence of a "malevolent entity"? Then why is he frantically searching for said entity? Shouldn't he be frantically searching for his father -- and the Big Reveal is that in spite of his skepticism this "malevolent entity" exists? And "malevolent entity" is rather vague.Read more
Skeptical about what? The existence of a “malevolent entity”? Then why is he frantically searching for said entity?
Shouldn’t he be frantically searching for his father — and the Big Reveal is that in spite of his skepticism this “malevolent entity” exists?
And “malevolent entity” is rather vague. Can you be more specific?
That’s the fundamental problem: it’s a vague, general premise that doesn’t stand out, distinguish itself from 10,001 story lines about “malevolent entities”, frantic searches, et cetera.
See lessA self-focused haematologist battles thousands of enemies to reach her boyfriend and save their relationship after learning he plans to dump her when he returns from a week long live-action role-playing tournament.
You raised a number of issues; I wish I had time to respond in full. Suffice to say for now that I have always considered loglines to be about selling the sizzle, not the describing the steak. IMHO, the sizzle in your logline is not hematology, nor a self-centered character, nor being dumped. The siRead more
You raised a number of issues; I wish I had time to respond in full. Suffice to say for now that I have always considered loglines to be about selling the sizzle, not the describing the steak.
IMHO, the sizzle in your logline is not hematology, nor a self-centered character, nor being dumped. The sizzle is the social phenomenon of LARP. That’s what makes your concept stand out. LARP is a social phenomenon begging for someone to write a script about. I hope yours is the first to be sold sold and produced.
FWIW: focus on the sizzle in the logline, the steak in the script.
See lessA self-focused haematologist battles thousands of enemies to reach her boyfriend and save their relationship after learning he plans to dump her when he returns from a week long live-action role-playing tournament.
nicholasandrewhalls: You raised a number of issues I wish I had the time to respond to. Suffice to say for now that I have always considered loglines to be about selling the sizzle, not the describing the steak. IMHO, the sizzle in your logline is not hematology, or a self-centered character, or beiRead more
nicholasandrewhalls:
You raised a number of issues I wish I had the time to respond to. Suffice to say for now that I have always considered loglines to be about selling the sizzle, not the describing the steak.
IMHO, the sizzle in your logline is not hematology, or a self-centered character, or being dumped. The sizzle — what makes your story stand out as something unique and intriguing — is the social phenomenon of LARP. It’s a phenomenon begging for some to write a script about. I hope yours is the first that gets sold and produced.
FWIW: focus on the sizzle in the logline, the steak in the script.
See less