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After reading a page from a spell book an incorrigible boy discovers a cursed princess trapped in a tree in his backyard. He must break the spell and save his father from his new girlfriend, the Witch.
B8C What is the connection between the bulldozing of the park and the princess trapped in the tree? *The logline doesn't say the tree is in the park to be bulldozed. *The logline doesn't say the Princess will die when the park is bulldozed. The logline doesn't establish a clear causal link for the fRead more
B8C
What is the connection between the bulldozing of the park and the princess trapped in the tree?
*The logline doesn’t say the tree is in the park to be bulldozed.
*The logline doesn’t say the Princess will die when the park is bulldozed.
The logline doesn’t establish a clear causal link for the fates of the park, tree, and Princess.
>>>I?m having a little trouble trying to incorporate that the hero is the only one that can see her…
So the question lingers: how does it fall upon the boy to rescue the Princess — can’t everyone else see what he sees?
The logline assumes that people will easily and correctly make the necessary causal links. Maybe they will. And maybe they won’t. I, for one, don’t. The logline invokes an alternate reality with rules I don’t understand. So I am unable to suspend disbelief.
Others mileage may vary.
fwiw
See lessAfter reading a page from a spell book an incorrigible boy discovers a cursed princess trapped in a tree in his backyard. He must break the spell and save his father from his new girlfriend, the Witch.
Well... A troubled boy must rescue a Princess -- whom only he can see - who is trapped in a tree by a sorcerer's spell, who will die when the tree is cut down to make way for a mall. Klunky. And 39 words. Here's the madness in my method: Stories of the magical and sci-fi genres often face an up hillRead more
Well…
A troubled boy must rescue a Princess — whom only he can see – who is trapped in a tree by a sorcerer’s spell, who will die when the tree is cut down to make way for a mall.
Klunky. And 39 words. Here’s the madness in my method:
Stories of the magical and sci-fi genres often face an up hill struggle to persuade the viewer to suspend belief, to buy into alternate rules of reality that define the story world. It’s a challenge to distill those alternate rules of reality into a logline, but occasionally necessary to do so.
‘whom only he can see’
I’m explicitly stating an alternate rule that is only implied in the original logline. I mean, if everyone else could see the Princess, the kid wouldn’t have a dramatic problem, would he?
‘by a sorcerer’s spell’
That emendation is to provide an answer to the question: who is the antagonist, the villain? I infer that the Princess’s predicament is created by an agent with the power to trap her in the tree. The mayoress may be corrupt, but does she have that power? Or is the ‘corrupt mayoress’ merely a pawn, a dupe, of the agent with the magical chopes to trap the Princess?
‘who will die when the tree is scheduled to be cut down’
Again, I make explicit what seems to be implied. This is to answer the question: what is at stake? Well, obviously it’s not the tree’s life — it’s the Princess’s life. (Which I infer is linked to that of the tree.)
Oh yeah: suggested title “Tree of Life”. (Recognizing that Terrence Malick’s 2011 film was titled “The Tree of Life”.)
fwiw
See lessAfter a relationship coach's hired by distraught parents to convince their thirty-something son to leave the nest, matters become complicated when she falls in love.
I like your idea. Hope it's more than a practice exercise.
I like your idea. Hope it’s more than a practice exercise.
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