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On the run from a determined street enforcer, a young Londoner will do anything and everything to avoid capture but the enforcer has pledged to kill himself in the event of failure.
Enforcer for a ruthless mobster, or for an occult and secret society. Whatever turns over your crankshaft. However, if you go with the latter, than I suggest that what the young man steals is a briefcase containing musty papers with cryptograms, maps, whatever that lead to a treasure trove of hiddenRead more
Enforcer for a ruthless mobster, or for an occult and secret society. Whatever turns over your crankshaft.
However, if you go with the latter, than I suggest that what the young man steals is a briefcase containing musty papers with cryptograms, maps, whatever that lead to a treasure trove of hidden wealth or a great secret .
So he’s in a race against time to solve the riddle as well as save his life from the enforcer. The enforcer’s stake is to defend to the death, if necessary, his sacred oath to maintain the society’s greatest secret.
That may require a major retooling of your story. But Hollyweird seems to have a weakness for stories with a mystical, occult angle. The angle can be leveraged into a sequels, franchises (See “National Treasure”, “The Da Vinci Code”)
fwiw
See lessAfter nine years, a NASA communications expert reconnects with the astronaut she believed to be dead and helps rescue him from space.
Suggest adding a ticking clock to heighten urgency. Such as he's running out of whatever resources he had to survive; the space module is failing, yada-yada. Also, though the logline casts the communication expert as the protagonist, the astronaut's struggle seems to be the more interesting and compRead more
Suggest adding a ticking clock to heighten urgency. Such as he’s running out of whatever resources he had to survive; the space module is failing, yada-yada.
Also, though the logline casts the communication expert as the protagonist, the astronaut’s struggle seems to be the more interesting and compelling aspect of the story. Wouldn’t the resourcefulness, perseverance, courage and struggle to survive in outer space be infinitely greater than whatever it takes on earth to bring him back?
See lessThe attempted assassination of a bright young politician sends his devoted wife down a reckless path toward the one man who can save him ? but whose unethical treatment leaves the patient with a murderous appetite.
"Murderous appetite" -- what does that mean? The 'cure' leaves patients with an insatiable appetite for killing people? Turns them into cannibals? This phrase (still) confuses and mystifies rather than hooks my interest.
“Murderous appetite” — what does that mean? The ‘cure’ leaves patients with an insatiable appetite for killing people? Turns them into cannibals? This phrase (still) confuses and mystifies rather than hooks my interest.
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