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  1. Posted: August 20, 2019In: Thriller

    The diagnosis of infertility forces a desperate woman to decide whether she should face the risks of achieving her dream of motherhood at any cost.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 20, 2019 at 1:35 am

    The inciting incident is clear enough, but the objective goal is vague.? The logline, in effect, hides the game ball, what her risky plan is to become a mother.? What specifically does "achieving her dream...at any cost" mean? What becomes her specific objective goal?? How exactly does she intend toRead more

    The inciting incident is clear enough, but the objective goal is vague.? The logline, in effect, hides the game ball, what her risky plan is to become a mother.? What specifically does “achieving her dream…at any cost” mean? What becomes her specific objective goal?? How exactly does she intend to solve her dramatic problem and what makes it so risky?

    And is her age a complicating factor?? Like she’s in her mid-30’s; her biological clock is clicking. If so you might want to indicate that in describing her.

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  2. Posted: August 17, 2019In: Comedy

    William Shakespeare awakens to find himself in London in 2019 with no memory of anything after 1616. Interpreting modern day situations from an Elizabethan perspective, he befriends three school children in an attempt to understand to the 21st century.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 19, 2019 at 9:46 pm

    Agree with ssk05032.? What are the stakes?? In comedy, there has to be stakes, too.? What is his real dramatic problem?? Shakespeare was a genius; surely if anyone could overcome the initial disorientation and come to understand and operate in modern times, it would be Shakespeare.? And why would heRead more

    Agree with ssk05032.? What are the stakes?? In comedy, there has to be stakes, too.? What is his real dramatic problem?? Shakespeare was a genius; surely if anyone could overcome the initial disorientation and come to understand and operate in modern times, it would be Shakespeare.? And why would he rely on kids and not adults to coach him? After the “fun and games” of Shakespeare’s initial disorientation wears off, what’s the story?

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  3. Posted: August 16, 2019In: SciFi

    A young married couple tests the boundaries of their new invention – a teleportation device – within the confines of a hotel room unaware they are being watched very closely by outside forces with an interest in their discovery.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 19, 2019 at 4:33 am

    The logline sets up a situation but doesn't follow through with a complete plot.? What is the objective goal, here??? And who owns the objective goal, the humanoids or the "outside forces"?? And what's at risk, what are the stakes?? I suggest you run this logline through the logline generator.

    The logline sets up a situation but doesn’t follow through with a complete plot.? What is the objective goal, here??? And who owns the objective goal, the humanoids or the “outside forces”?? And what’s at risk, what are the stakes?? I suggest you run this logline through the logline generator.

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