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  1. Posted: July 10, 2019In: Comedy

    When all their attempts to achieve happiness fail, even when fulfilling family expectations, a highly disciplined hetero cis woman must deconstruct and find out what she wants in all aspects of her life even if that includes rediscovering her sexuality to be happy.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 11, 2019 at 5:19 am

    A logline for a comedy should give the reader an idea as to what the comedic premise is.? Alas, I can't imagine what could be so funny about? "a highly disciplined hetero cis woman (who) must deconstruct...." yada, yada, yada.BUT:>>>That (s)he is thirty years old and never had an orgasm.I cRead more

    A logline for a comedy should give the reader an idea as to what the comedic premise is.? Alas, I can’t imagine what could be so funny about? “a highly disciplined hetero cis woman (who) must deconstruct….” yada, yada, yada.

    BUT:
    >>>That (s)he is thirty years old and never had an orgasm.

    I can immediately imagine comedy possibilities in a 30 year old woman who has never had a Big O!! moment in her life.? That’s the most interesting defining characteristic of? your character.

    It’s your story hook, what? makes the character and her situation interesting.? Don’t bury that hook.? Reveal and lead with it.

    Like :”A 30 year old woman who has never had an orgasm must…” well, what?

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  2. Posted: July 10, 2019In: Comedy

    After a nervous breakdown forces her to get sober, a young woman must contend with who she really is and navigate the path to her own happiness.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 11, 2019 at 2:30 am

    I realize there can be a lot of gallows humor in the recovery process, as anyone who has attended AA meetings where people routinely confess to all the foolish things they did while drunk and the "heroic" efforts to remain in denial of their problem.? But? I, too,? failed to see what's so funny abouRead more

    I realize there can be a lot of gallows humor in the recovery process, as anyone who has attended AA meetings where people routinely confess to all the foolish things they did while drunk and the “heroic” efforts to remain in denial of their problem.? But? I, too,? failed to see what’s so funny about the dramatic situation as presented in the logline.? It seemed more pathetic than humorous.

    And like mikepedley85 said, happiness is a subjective goal and loglines are about objective goals.? And there are plenty of them available to a recovering alcholoic.? Like? building a new career after wrecking the old one,? Working through the AA 8th and 9th steps with all the people she has hurt including maybe her marriage partner and her children.? IOW: work out her subjective need through her struggle to attain a specific objective goal.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: July 10, 2019In: Drama

    A young closeted Asian man decides to lose his virginity, to a stranger that he meets online.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 11, 2019 at 2:15 am

    As the others have said.? Obviously, it's a risky venture? on his part.? Anything and everything could go wrong. I suggest as an additional complication, he's? under a lot of pressure from his family to marry, have kids.

    As the others have said.? Obviously, it’s a risky venture? on his part.? Anything and everything could go wrong. I suggest as an additional complication, he’s? under a lot of pressure from his family to marry, have kids.

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