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  1. Posted: June 16, 2019In: Student Loglines

    A desperate father decides not to rob a bank after receiving a loving call from his wife, but a corrupt cop blackmails him to proceed or face arrest for the stolen car and intent to commit a felony. (36) – For a short 6 minute screenplay

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 18, 2019 at 6:00 am

    Seems like a rather convoluted plot to set up, build to a climax and resolve in only 6 minutes.fwiw

    Seems like a rather convoluted plot to set up, build to a climax and resolve in only 6 minutes.

    fwiw

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  2. Posted: June 17, 2019In: Horror

    When a troubled hospice nurse accepts a new job caring for a mysterious couple?s granddaughter on their rural plantation, she must protect her young patient from a violent attacker bent on revenge.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 18, 2019 at 5:40 am

    Okay, thanks for the clarification.? I can see why the attacker would take revenge on the "grandparents", but I am confused as to why the nurse needs to protect the innocent patient.? ?Protect from whom?? It's not clear in the logline itself whether the child needs protection from her real mother orRead more

    Okay, thanks for the clarification.? I can see why the attacker would take revenge on the “grandparents”, but I am confused as to why the nurse needs to protect the innocent patient.? ?Protect from whom?? It’s not clear in the logline itself whether the child needs protection from her real mother or from the bad grandparents.

    And if the child needs protection from the grandparents (not the real mother), then what are the grandparents sinister intentions??

    And why isn’t real mother’s attack of the grandparents a benefit to the child? Wouldn’t the real mother attacking the grandparents remove the the “sinister” threat (whatever it is) to the child?? Why does the survival of the child depend on the nurse?

    When all the mysteries have been revealed, what is the story about?? What theme is the story exploring?

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  3. Posted: June 17, 2019In: Horror

    When a troubled hospice nurse accepts a new job caring for a mysterious couple?s granddaughter on their rural plantation, she must protect her young patient from a violent attacker bent on revenge.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 18, 2019 at 4:23 am

    "troubled" -- could be more specific.? In what way is she troubled (depressed, bipolar, PTSD) that impairs her ability to both care for the granddaughter AND fend off the attacker?"rural plantation" -- aren't plantations by definition rural? So just the word "plantation" should suffice. Also, "plantRead more

    “troubled” — could be more specific.? In what way is she troubled (depressed, bipolar, PTSD) that impairs her ability to both care for the granddaughter AND fend off the attacker?

    “rural plantation” — aren’t plantations by definition rural? So just the word “plantation” should suffice. Also, “plantation” usually connotes a large farm operation set in the South. So I’m guessing that where the story is set.

    “When a troubled hospice nurse accepts a new job caring for a mysterious couple?s granddaughter on their plantation” — that phrase actually describes the set up for the plot action: “she must protect her young patient from a violent attacker bent on revenge.”

    But the setup? is a distinct plot element from the inciting incident.? They are not equivalent nor interchangeable.? So what is the inciting incident? What happens that provokes the attacker to seek revenge?? Why NOW? Why didn’t the attacker seek revenge before she came?

    fwiw

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