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Jacob Foster is a lone traveler, he escaped home when he was 18 and hasn’t stopped moving since, however when he receives a message that his mother has fallen fatally ill, he must decide whether he can confront the haunting memories of his childhood.
The purpose of a? logline is to succinctly summarize a plot for a script.? A plot is not about what a character deciding whether to do something, but the consequences that follow from a decision the character actually makes.In the case of this logline, the protagonist is going to return home, isn'tRead more
The purpose of a? logline is to succinctly summarize a plot for a script.? A plot is not about what a character deciding whether to do something, but the consequences that follow from a decision the character actually makes.
In the case of this logline, the protagonist is going to return home, isn’t he?? He will face the bad memories, right?? Otherwise, there’s no plot.? So frame the logline in terms of the action that follows from the decision he makes.?
Specifically, the logline needs to indicate his objective goal,? Why is he going home in spite of the bad memories?? An objective goal is what he looks forward to accomplishing in the future, not backwards to remembering about his past.
Also,? loglines usually don’t mention the name of a fictional protagonist.? ?Rather they define rather than name the character.? In this case, he seems to be a vagabond, a nomad.? “Jacob Foster is a lone traveler, he escaped home when he was 18 and hasn?t stopped moving since” — that’s all backstory and need not be included in the logline.? “When he receives a message that his mother has fallen fatally ill”? seems to be the inciting incident, where the plot, hence, the logline, should start.
Check out “Our Formula” for basic information on writing an industry acceptable logline.
fwiw
See lessRumours of the special school closure looming, fifteen year old student Toni must? decide and risk everything she knows and believes to feel she finally belongs in her world.
As Richiev asked.And special school for what?? What is the special need/handicap/character flaw that the protagonist must deal with while striving to achieve her objective goal?The logline needs more specifics, more particulars.? If you haven't already done so, consult the guidelines for writing anRead more
As Richiev asked.
And special school for what?? What is the special need/handicap/character flaw that the protagonist must deal with while striving to achieve her objective goal?
The logline needs more specifics, more particulars.? If you haven’t already done so, consult the guidelines for writing an industry acceptable logline under “Our Formula”.
See lessWhen a troubled hospice nurse accepts a new job caring for a mysterious couple?s granddaughter on their rural plantation, she must protect her young patient from a violent attacker bent on revenge.
Actually,? I think? "on her rural plantation"? can be cut.? The particular setting is extraneous to the logline. What isn't extraneous and needs more particularity is what constitutes the "evil intentions".? There are so many? ways people can behave with "evil intentions" -- which one applies to thiRead more
Actually,? I think? “on her rural plantation”? can be cut.? The particular setting is extraneous to the logline.
What isn’t extraneous and needs more particularity is what constitutes the “evil intentions”.? There are so many? ways people can behave with “evil intentions” — which one applies to this story?? Is she going to be offered up in a ritual sacrifice?? And isn’t the initial attack, the inciting incident,? a kidnapping?? If so,? that is how the incident should be described.
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