1. Posted: June 14, 2019In:

    On the eve of her final night at an urgent care center, an opiate-dependent nurse practitioner must overcome her addiction to fight off a gang of violent teen junkies, fiending for the stash of narcotics.

    dpg Singularity

    I would like one more clarification.? Why is it dramatically necessary for the rest of the plot that it's her last night of work?? ?Can't she just be working or about to work? her shift (and pilfering), and then...?

    I would like one more clarification.? Why is it dramatically necessary for the rest of the plot that it’s her last night of work?? ?Can’t she just be working or about to work? her shift (and pilfering), and then…?

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  2. Posted: June 14, 2019In:

    On the eve of her final night at an urgent care center, an opiate-dependent nurse practitioner must overcome her addiction to fight off a gang of violent teen junkies, fiending for the stash of narcotics.

    dpg Singularity

    I think the idea has promise, but I would like a clarification:Is the nurse practitioner in the urgent care center as a patient or as a care giver?? Is she there to kick her own addition.? Or is she working there helping other addicts to kick while maintaining her addiction by stealing from the suppRead more

    I think the idea has promise, but I would like a clarification:

    Is the nurse practitioner in the urgent care center as a patient or as a care giver?? Is she there to kick her own addition.? Or is she working there helping other addicts to kick while maintaining her addiction by stealing from the supply of opiates?

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  3. Posted: May 7, 2019In:

    When a cop is killed during her last con, the Chinese-Australian suspect finds herself hiding out in a small conservative town in NSW where she takes the persona of a Chinese Medicine healer but finds herself healing the town and herself.

    dpg Singularity

    I? think making the protagonist Chinese and female makes for a more interesting character.? And? the 2nd half of the logline, pretending to be a Chinese medicine healer turns on her ethnicity.? Further,it may increase the audience for the film.? The Chinese film market is on the verge of eclipsing tRead more

    I? think making the protagonist Chinese and female makes for a more interesting character.? And? the 2nd half of the logline, pretending to be a Chinese medicine healer turns on her ethnicity.? Further,it may increase the audience for the film.? The Chinese film market is on the verge of eclipsing the US and becoming the world’s largest film market.? So? this has the potential of being distributed in China as well as in Australia.

    However, the protagonist sure does a lot of “finding”.? She finds herself in a small town and then she finds herself? healing the town.? This “finding” conveys the impression that the plot is acting on her rather than she is acting to determine the direction of the plot.? But loglines? should frame the action in terms of what a protagonist intentionally seeks to do, not what unintentionally happens .? So a logline for developing a script might be something like:

    After a cop is killed while pulling off her latest crime, a Chinese-Australian con artist hides out in a small town pretending to be a Chinese medicine healer.
    (28 words)

    However, a logine for selling the finished script, one that incorporates a Midpoint plot reversal/twist ( aka: MPR ) might read something like:

    A Chinese-Australian con artist on the lam hides in a remote town pretending to be a traditional medicine healer. But her cover is threatened when the her cures work, attracting unwanted attention from the outside media.
    (36 words)

    This version focuses on an element not mentioned in the original logline:? the unintended negative objective consequences of her new profession, rather than the unintended positive subjective consequences.? No doubt, the unintended subjective consequences is surely an important and ironic story element.? And I’m not sure the author has the story twist in mind that I have inserted.

    But I suggest that there is a logical and emotional systole and diastole to the flow of drama narrative that requires a 3rd Act moral reckoning with past misdeeds.? Any psychological “cure” must entail a confrontation with the ghosts of the past.

    And? what would trigger that reckoning?? Ironically, that her cures are all too successful, attracting unwanted publicity that threatens to blow her cover.

    fwiw

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