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When a shortage of decent male actors threatens to shut down the high school senior musical, a reserved teenager is coerced into being the romantic lead of her rival but she has more than acting on her mind as she finds herself falling for her costar.
I' m confused. First the logline says there a short of male actors, then says a reserved female? is coerced into trying out.Say what?How does that solve the problem of a shortage of male talent?? One would think that the shortage of male actors would be a trigger to induce a? guy to try out.?The proRead more
I’ m confused. First the logline says there a short of male actors, then says a reserved female? is coerced into trying out.
Say what?
How does that solve the problem of a shortage of male talent?? One would think that the shortage of male actors would be a trigger to induce a? guy to try out.?The problem of the shortage of guys seems to be left dangling.
Further confusing me is that first the logline talks about guys which induces me to think the story problem will concern a male protagonist.? I have to wade through 30 words to find out the gender of the “reserved student”? is actually female.? ?That’s? need-to-know information about the protagonist that should be stated ASAP in a logline.
Also, it’s an emotional stretch to? believe that someone could be bullied into trying out? and as a result of that negative push rise to the occasion.? The Lady Gaga character in “A Star is Born” is not coerced into performing.? She is invited on stage which she accepts because the Bradley Cooper character has been encouraging her — she’s been persuaded, seduced to perform — not bullied.? ?Because it’s what she really wants to do.
A protagonist may be reluctant to accept “The Call to Adventure”? for whatever reason, but ultimately she answers the call because it appeals,? because she yearns to, because it’s what she (not someone else) wants to do, her biggest dream.? It’s her choice.
Finally, it’s not clear? whether she accepts the role to get the guy she’s already in love with — but his heart belongs to some one else.? Or that the two are the Last Persons on Earth who would date each other, only to fall in love during the course of rehearsals.? Whatever,? the logline should at least imply that there is a wedge issue, a seemingly insurmountable obstacle to romance.? And it is SOP? that she would have to deal with a rival for his affection.
fwiw
See lessIn a fabled land, a bounty hunter must find a sacred artifact to resurrect his late lover before the crown?s inquisitor does.
Richiev to the rescue with a useful tip? about using "teams with" !Libari,What about something along the line of:In a fabled land, a bounty hunter must find a sacred artifact to resurrect his late lover before the crown?s inquisitor does.A plot is enhanced when both the protagonist and antagonist arRead more
Richiev to the rescue with a useful tip? about using “teams with” !
Libari,
What about something along the line of:
In a fabled land, a bounty hunter must find a sacred artifact to resurrect his late lover before the crown?s inquisitor does.
A plot is enhanced when both the protagonist and antagonist are fighting? for the same goal, aka: the McGuffin principle, as articulated by Alfred Hitchcock.? The inquisitors could be out to kill him, too, but the common objective goal driving both of them is the grand prize of the artifact.
However, for that to work, the inquisitor would also desperately need to possess the artifact for some evil purpose.? Not just to deprive the bounty hunter.? ?Whatever that may be, my point is that it’s important the antagonist have as much skin in the game in possessing the artifact as does the protagonist.
It would also? intensify dramatic tension if the inquisitor is implicated in the murderer of the bounty hunter’s late lover.
fwiw
See lessWhen a washed-up championship cowboy, reduced to shilling for a huge conglomerate, discovers its championship racehorse is being doped on drugs, he steals the horse to liberate it from commercial exploitation.
I was amazed to find out that the premium-price talent (Robert Redford and Jane Fonda in their prime) was attached and the project got the green light on the basis of a script with only the 1st Act written. There was no 2nd or 3rd Acts! Nor any outline for how the plot would play out. They figured oRead more
I was amazed to find out that the premium-price talent (Robert Redford and Jane Fonda in their prime) was attached and the project got the green light on the basis of a script with only the 1st Act written. There was no 2nd or 3rd Acts! Nor any outline for how the plot would play out. They figured out as they made the movie how to answer the dramatic question raised by the 1st Act: After stealing the horse, how does he liberate it?
Ah, those were the days.
See less