1. Posted: June 1, 2019In:

    Brought together by chance an unwonted romance blooms between an affluent twenty-something and a down on his luck mendicant.

    dpg Singularity

    >>How would I add all that in a logline? For a start, what is the wedge issue that threatens to destroy the relationship?? What is the seemingly insurmountable obstacle? that stands in the way?

    >>How would I add all that in a logline?

    For a start, what is the wedge issue that threatens to destroy the relationship?? What is the seemingly insurmountable obstacle? that stands in the way?

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  2. Posted: June 3, 2019In:

    While vacationing at the same location she experienced a cataclysmic event, a mother and her family are threatened with losing their lives, and their place in society, by people who look exactly like them. – ‘Us’

    dpg Singularity

    When a mother and her family are terrorized by their doppelgangers, she must...That's the general approach to loglining a film.? Start off with the protagonist, inciting incident and? story hook. .? In this case, the story hook is the doppelgangers.? ?So it's the lead.? Don't bury it at the end of tRead more

    When a mother and her family are terrorized by their doppelgangers, she must…

    That’s the general approach to loglining a film.? Start off with the protagonist, inciting incident and? story hook. .? In this case, the story hook is the doppelgangers.? ?So it’s the lead.? Don’t bury it at the end of the logline.

    Also in a logline, the dramatic action should be framed in terms of what the protagonist proactively does.? This version leaves the protagonist (and her family) dangling in distress as hapless victims.? So what she must do?

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  3. Posted: June 3, 2019In:

    In a fabled land, a bounty hunter must find a sacred artifact to resurrect his late lover before the crown?s inquisitor does.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity

    Libari,I consider my suggestion "before the crown's inquisitors do" to be dangling out there,? an incomplete sentence for you to finish.? I don't know enough about your story to know why the inquisitor must find it, too.? ?All I know? is it makes for better drama if they both? MUST have the same thiRead more

    Libari,

    I consider my suggestion “before the crown’s inquisitors do” to be dangling out there,? an incomplete sentence for you to finish.? I don’t know enough about your story to know why the inquisitor must find it, too.? ?All I know? is it makes for better drama if they both? MUST have the same thing.

    Either the artifact is a general wish-granting object (like? Aladdin’s lamp) or it is only good for one purpose, to raise the dead.? If it’s the latter, then who would the inquisitor want to resurrect?

    Well, the most obvious candidate would be the king the bounty hunter killed.? So he can wreak revenge on the bounty hunter.?

    Here’s another option: a tickling clock on the power of the artifact.? It can only resurrect the dead within X number of hours or days (not many).

    Both the true love and the king could have been killed around the same time, say in the same battle.? So both the protagonist and antagonist are racing against time to resurrect their preferred person.

    But it seems to me that there would need to be a bigger pay off for the inquisitor than having the king avenge his own death.? What’s in it for inquisitor?? What’s his selfish agenda?? What makes the king’s death a personal offense, not just a legal one?? ?Why did the bounty killer kill the king in the first place?? What did the inquisitor lose by the king’s death?? What does he stand to gain personally by resurrecting him?? What does he stand to gain personally by killing the bounty hunter?

    I’m just spit balling.? My takeaway is that the king’s death in the past (back story) is of dramatic import to the degree it comes back to haunt the protagonist in the present tense of the plot.

    FWIW

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