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  1. Posted: June 4, 2019In: Comedy

    When a shortage of decent male actors threatens to shut down the high school senior musical, a reserved teenager is coerced into being the romantic lead of her rival but she has more than acting on her mind as she finds herself falling for her costar.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 4, 2019 at 9:44 am

    >>I think the logline is saying they had to get a girl to dress up as a guy and play the male leading role.Another "Doh!" moment.Was that clear to you on the first read?? Obviously, it wasn't to me.So she's falling in love with the other girl?Okay. That's interesting.But the dramatic situationRead more

    >>I think the logline is saying they had to get a girl to dress up as a guy and play the male leading role.

    Another “Doh!” moment.

    Was that clear to you on the first read?? Obviously, it wasn’t to me.

    So she’s falling in love with the other girl?

    Okay. That’s interesting.

    But the dramatic situation and plot needs to be made clearer.? I’m not the brightest light bulb in the room. (You noticed?)? And a logline writer should assume that most readers? will, likewise, not be the brightest light bulbs.

    Let me confess that my standard M.O. is to give loglines a quick read — 10 seconds, max.

    Why?

    Because that is all the time most movie makers will give a logline.? Either it’s clear in 10 seconds and it hooks attention.? Or it doesn’t.? In the movie industry, a logline gets one chance to make the right 1st impression. And if it fails, the reader will move on to the next logline… or answer the phone… or respond to a text message or email…?

    My 2.5 cents worth.

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  2. Posted: June 3, 2019In: Crime

    On the verge of taking his own life, a detective will have to get back on his feet to investigate the disappearance of his neglected daughter

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 4, 2019 at 8:31 am

    Agree with Richiev.? There's not enough meat on the bones of the plot.? It needs some fleshing out.? ?And the logline needs to be focus on the search for the dauther, not on the recovery.? Because finding his daughter is the objective goal;? overcoming his suicidal impulses is a necessary means to aRead more

    Agree with Richiev.? There’s not enough meat on the bones of the plot.? It needs some fleshing out.? ?And the logline needs to be focus on the search for the dauther, not on the recovery.? Because finding his daughter is the objective goal;? overcoming his suicidal impulses is a necessary means to achieving that goal.

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  3. Posted: June 4, 2019In: Comedy

    Two dirt poor, scrawny guys and a mighty viking fight for a golden sheep horn. Legend says, whoever blows the horn will receive great wealth from the sheep god, however the “legend” is just a made up prank.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 4, 2019 at 8:25 am

    >>however the ?legend? is just a made up prank.If this is the final payoff of the premise then it's a spoiler.? A logline should never give away a 3rd? Act Reveal or how the story ends.On the other hand, if it's an MPR (Midpoint Reveal) what becomes the objective goal that drives the rest of tRead more

    >>however the ?legend? is just a made up prank.

    If this is the final payoff of the premise then it’s a spoiler.? A logline should never give away a 3rd? Act Reveal or how the story ends.

    On the other hand, if it’s an MPR (Midpoint Reveal) what becomes the objective goal that drives the rest of the story after they realize they’ve been pranked?

    Which is it?? What is the story really about?

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