Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
17 year old twin, Deighton Young needs to negotiate his last year of school while grieving for his recently drowned brother. Dropping out of school due to grief he is forced by his father to work for white collar criminal Harry Mackay, in doing so he uncovers unethical business practice leading back to resolving a multi-generational mystery surrounding the disappearance of Lani Drum 40 years earlier.
As youngswriter1547 said, at 66 words in length, it's too long. The purpose of a logline is to sell the story -- not tell it. It needs to be trimmed down to a logline that is less than 40 words long and focuses on the story hook. (What is the story hook for this series, anyway?) Also, it's better toRead more
As youngswriter1547 said, at 66 words in length, it’s too long. The purpose of a logline is to sell the story — not tell it. It needs to be trimmed down to a logline that is less than 40 words long and focuses on the story hook. (What is the story hook for this series, anyway?)
Also, it’s better to introduce characters by a defining characteristic, not their proper names.
And what is the dramatic significance of Lani Drum? Why does a past event –her disappearance 40 years ago — matter NOW, in the present tense of the story? What are the personal stakes for the protagonist ? Why MUST he solve the mystery — or else? Or else what?
See lessAfter facing corruption in the porn industry, a film director and an aging actress teams up and kills those who is about to release their sex tape.
Corruption in the porn industry is as shocking -- shocking!-- as there being gambling in Rick's casino in "Casablanca". And what could possibly be scandalous about the release of a sex video in an anything-goes-with-anyone-and-nothing-left-to-the-imagine business of porn?
Corruption in the porn industry is as shocking — shocking!– as there being gambling in Rick’s casino in “Casablanca”.
And what could possibly be scandalous about the release of a sex video in an anything-goes-with-anyone-and-nothing-left-to-the-imagine business of porn?
See lessRight before Christmas, a successful young Hollywood agent is fired from his job. Shame filled and arrogant, he is forced to spend the holiday with his family in New York City where he meets Melissa, a kind and beautiful young woman who unexpectedly pulls him out of his funk, helps him move on from his old job, and becomes the greatest Christmas miracle of the season.
Alas, the story relies on an all-too-old female role; that is, a good woman is type cast in the supporting role rather than the leading role, It's her job to rescue, reform, redeem a bad man, or at least a failing one. She does all the emotional labor -- he gets the dramatic payoff. We're in the ageRead more
Alas, the story relies on an all-too-old female role; that is, a good woman is type cast in the supporting role rather than the leading role, It’s her job to rescue, reform, redeem a bad man, or at least a failing one. She does all the emotional labor — he gets the dramatic payoff.
We’re in the age of #MeToo now. I suggest an overhaul and upgrade of her role.
See less