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  1. Posted: May 12, 2019In: Horror

    When a crew of mismatched oilfield workers stay late to finish a job in the middle of nowhere, they are attacked by bloodthirsty monsters. They’ll have to band together to fight through blood guts, and teeth if they want to live to see another sunrise.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 14, 2019 at 8:10 am

    >>A park ranger turned Backstory.? Not necessary for the logline. "Rookie" might suffice. >>>regrets her first day on the job The logline needs to focus on the problem she faces, and what she must do about it How she feels about the situation is irrelevant in the logline. Maybe slip ?Read more

    >>A park ranger turned

    Backstory.? Not necessary for the logline. “Rookie” might suffice.

    >>>regrets her first day on the job

    The logline needs to focus on the problem she faces, and what she must do about it How she feels about the situation is irrelevant in the logline.

    Maybe slip ?remote? into the logline to describe the location. That lays the foundation for why there is no cellphone communication.? And anyway, it?s one of many complications she faces.? Even if they had perfect 4G communication, they?re in a rugged, remote location ? no one can get there fast enough to rescue them at night, right? They must rescue themselves.

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  2. Posted: May 14, 2019In: Examples

    How a Black police officer infiltrated a Ku Klax Klan chapter with a Jewish partner who eventually became its leader.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 14, 2019 at 7:56 am

    Does this logline break the iron-clad rule that a logline should never give away how a story ends?? Does "...who eventually became its leader" constitute a spoiler?I would argue that if it does, this is an instance where breaking the iron-clad rule is justified.The Prime Operative of a logline is toRead more

    Does this logline break the iron-clad rule that a logline should never give away how a story ends?? Does “…who eventually became its leader” constitute a spoiler?

    I would argue that if it does, this is an instance where breaking the iron-clad rule is justified.

    The Prime Operative of a logline is to pitch the script, make logline readers want to read it. I submit that this logline fulfills the Prime Operative by pitching not 1, but 3 story hooks. 1] A Black man infiltrated the KKK. 2] With the help of a Jewish partner. 3] And his partner ends up leading the chapter.

    It’s a case of the truth being stranger than fiction.

    I see the “spoiler” as the 3rd beat topper to the joke the two PO’s played on the KKK.

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  3. Posted: May 13, 2019In: Thriller

    In 1961, a British double agent, assigned to stop a uranium smuggling operation run by a secret organization of Nazis, falls for the chief Nazi?s fiancee.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 14, 2019 at 6:43 am

    You seem adamant about slipping in the relationship in addition to the plot goal.? My sense is that the relationship will be more interesting than the pursuit of the objective goal.? The love relationship must be good news-bad news .? It must present a potential way to fulfill the objective goal --Read more

    You seem adamant about slipping in the relationship in addition to the plot goal.? My sense is that the relationship will be more interesting than the pursuit of the objective goal.? The love relationship must be good news-bad news .? It must present a potential way to fulfill the objective goal — as well as a complication that could defeat his purpose and cost him his life (and hers, too).

    ?

    Hence:

    In 1961, when a British spy falls for an ex-Nazi’s fiancee, he jeopardizes his assignment to thwart the ex-Nazi’s uranium smuggling operation.

    (22 words)

    This version more directly personalizes the conflict.? It’s focus on agent versus the ex-Nazi, not the agent versus a faceless organization.? Obviously, if he defeats the ex-Nazi, he take down the ex-Nazi’s organization too.

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