1. Posted: May 7, 2019In:

    In the 1960?s, when her Greek village is devastated by drought, a teenage girl?s parents force her to migrate to Sydney Australia to marry a stranger and bring them prosperity but finds both racism and friendship, opportunities and mistreatment.

    dpg Singularity

    That you have "too much" material is always a good thing, an indicator of a story's dramatic potential.BUT:>>>the story would have 4 lead female characters in different situations as migrant women in Australia in the 1960?s.IOW: you have in mind an ensemble story. I suggest combining and coRead more

    That you have “too much” material is always a good thing, an indicator of a story’s dramatic potential.
    BUT:
    >>>the story would have 4 lead female characters in different situations as migrant women in Australia in the 1960?s.

    IOW: you have in mind an ensemble story. I suggest combining and condensing into one protagonist, or dual protagonists at the most.? Having four separate co-equal characters and story threads in a feature film? can lead to truncated story lines (for want of time to adequately develop each story) diffused focus, and diluted emotional impact.

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  2. Posted: May 7, 2019In:

    In an Australian offshore detention centre, a Syrian army medic refugee and her daughter fight for a visa to Australia despite the corrupt authorities and building tensions between the refugees.

    dpg Singularity

    >>fight for their right to peace and safety What does peace and safety look like? On screen, it looks like getting into Australia. That?s the object goal that is the solution to lack of ?the peace and safety?. So frame a logline in terms of the specific objective goal (a visual) that solves thRead more

    >>fight for their right to peace and safety

    What does peace and safety look like? On screen, it looks like getting into Australia. That?s the object goal that is the solution to lack of ?the peace and safety?. So frame a logline in terms of the specific objective goal (a visual) that solves the general problem. In the ?Star Wars: A New Hope? the Death Star threatens peace and safety for everyone. Ergo. the objective goal: destroy the Death Star.

    >>Not sure how real it is
    I should think that veracity would be an the feature that sells the series. And what keeps the audience coming back week after week. Truth is stranger than fiction ? and more interesting.

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  3. Posted: May 11, 2019In: ,

    In a post-apocalyptic world, a family must remain silent to hide from monsters with ultra-sensitive hearing.

    dpg Singularity

    Karel:The logline I posted is the marketing version? featuring the story hook.? I have come to believe that to be the most important element in a spec script.And based upon my understanding? of how the film came to be,? that is how the project got going.? The star/director,. John Krasinski, got invoRead more

    Karel:

    The logline I posted is the marketing version? featuring the story hook.? I have come to believe that to be the most important element in a spec script.

    And based upon my understanding? of how the film came to be,? that is how the project got going.? The star/director,. John Krasinski, got involved on the basis of the hook .? But he was not satisfied with the spec script.? So he undertook a number of rewrites before arriving at the version that was shot. Hence, why he got the lead writing credit.

    So I see this as an instance of a movie project that got going? more on the strength of the story hook than on the strength of the? plot of the original spec script.

    As for a development version of the logline that sets out the inciting incident for the shooting script — good question!

    The film opens in media res, sort of,? the monsters are already there.? And they kill a son.? Which creates a subjective problem, the daughter’s sense of guilt for her brother’s death and her relationship with her father.? And embedded in that is a theme?

    Whatever, a development logline is supposed to focus one the objective problem and goal, not the subjective.

    So, the story jumps forward to more than a year later.? The wife is pregnant, has almost comes to term.? Which raises the objective dramatic problem:? infants cry.? It could take years to train the child to remain silent.? Which raises the dramatic question: will she be able to safely deliver and raise the baby in such a hostile environment?

    I throw the question back to you:? what do you think to be the inciting incident of the plot of the film that got made?

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