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An alcoholic soldier must face his abusive father and confront his own addictions before he loses his memory.
Jelewis8:A reason I am hanging in with your idea is because I believe there is a need to tell the story of wounded bodies and wounded souls that have come out of American's never ending engagement in the Middle East.? (A "Coming Home" or "Dear Hunter" for this generation).? On that subject, I recommRead more
Jelewis8:
A reason I am hanging in with your idea is because I believe there is a need to tell the story of wounded bodies and wounded souls that have come out of American’s never ending engagement in the Middle East.? (A “Coming Home” or “Dear Hunter” for this generation).? On that subject, I recommend “Odyssesus in America: Combat Trauma and The Trials of Homecoming” by Jonathan Shay.? It is based upon Dr. Shay’s experiences and observations counseling Vietnam Vets. But? I believe it’s relevant to the current generation of? veterans because although the? war theater has changed, human nature hasn’t.
Best wishes with your story.
See lessAfter living with the lie for 30 years that she heroically assassinated a notorious Nazi war criminal, a new clue gives a retired Mossad agent one last chance to finish the job she botched.
Part of the core premise is not just that she's coming out of retirement to hunt down the Nazi criminal, but that she's been living a lie for 30 years, pretending that the mission was already accomplished.? And it's her fault that the mission failed.? ?I deem that to be the hook.? What's at stake isRead more
Part of the core premise is not just that she’s coming out of retirement to hunt down the Nazi criminal, but that she’s been living a lie for 30 years, pretending that the mission was already accomplished.? And it’s her fault that the mission failed.? ?I deem that to be the hook.? What’s at stake is not just terminating with extreme prejudice a very old Nazi war criminal, but of reclaiming her honor,? her honesty, of righting her wrong.
See lessAn alcoholic soldier must face his abusive father and confront his own addictions before he loses his memory.
Jelewis8:First of all, I want to commend you for hanging in there and taking my negative notes.? ?I am a tough reviewer because? it is a tough business.? Your logline must go up against thousands of other loglines vying for attention and consideration.Now then.? For the purpose of a plot and loglineRead more
Jelewis8:
First of all, I want to commend you for hanging in there and taking my negative notes.? ?I am a tough reviewer because? it is a tough business.? Your logline must go up against thousands of other loglines vying for attention and consideration.
Now then.? For the purpose of a plot and logline, the objective goal should always be framed positively, not negatively.? Specific to your story, his goal should be framed in terms of what he wants — not what he does not want.? It is not enough for a character to say what he does not want to be? (or do).? That leaves unanswered the? dramatic question.? The dramatic question is always framed in terms of what he wants to do,? the course of action he will take to get what he wants.
>>>Andy Dufresne describes to him in Shawshank. He doesn?t know what he?ll find at the tree …
But the protagonist is Andy Dufresne .? And he does know what he wants . By that moment in the film he’s achieved his objective goal.? It’s concrete? and has? a strong visual:? he crawls out of that sewer pipe a free man.? What’s the corresponding visual moment in your story?
>>>The whole screenplay is him becoming his father and trying to escape that legacy.
See lessThat’s his subjective character arc, well and good for the purpose of the script as a whole.? But a logline is about a protagonist’s objective goal, not the subjective problem he needs to overcome to achieve that goal.