Who is the main character, the protagonist?? The rookie or the retired detective?

Also it’s better to frame a character’s actions in terms that describe him as proactive, as acting on his own agency.? So the situation doesn’t? “force” the rookie; rather the situation triggers him to consider choices.? The choice he makes of his own volition is to consult the detective.

Also when does the discovery of the new information occur?? If it occurs after the plot has already been set in motion, if it’s a discovery/reversal at the midpoint than it probably does not need to be in a logline.? For one thing, it’s expected that murder mysteries will entail a Shocking Discovery and that the life of the protagonist and/or a stake character is in danger.? For another,? I don’t think it increases interest in reading the script by playing hide and seek with the discovery, by not disclosing what makes this discovery so different, so unique from the other discoveries in other murder mysteries.

On the other hand if the Shocking Discovery occurs at the end of Act 1 and pivots the story in a whole new direction, then what that discovery is needs to be revealed in the logline. (Example: The Shocking Discovery of the body of the? Evelyn Mulwray’s husband? in the reservoir? in “Chinatown” at the and of Act 1? pivots the story in a new direction, triggers private eye Gittes to pursue a whole new objective goal.)

Whatever.? My point is that the only element of information a logline that should never give away is how it ends.? Other than that, every element should inform, not obscure, should? be specific, not vague.

fwiw

The logline seems to describes more of a situation than a plot.? Members of the court seem to have a vague goal — to jockey for power in the succession.? But the logline focuses on the surgeon who has a no objective goal.? Just a dead body.

Whatever the jockeying for influence was, there was no doubt, no question as to the line of succession: Henry VIII had only one male heir and he was crowned? the next king, Edward VI, even though he was just a 10 year old kid.

But the boy king died at the age of 15.? Then the palace intrigue really got interesting and plots abounded because all the immediate candidates in the line of succession were female, a situation England had never faced before.

I don’t see what the story hook, is here,? what dramatic plot arises from the situation of the king’s death.