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When a struggling video game designer begins seeing his characters in real life, he suspects he?s already playing a game of his own creation and begins searching for patterns to help complete and escape the game.
Sounds like the story of a death-spiral into insanity.What's the baseline, the protagonist's initial situation?? ? And what is the worst thing that will happen to him if he can't figure out whether the "real world" is just another virtual game?
Sounds like the story of a death-spiral into insanity.
What’s the baseline, the protagonist’s initial situation?? ? And what is the worst thing that will happen to him if he can’t figure out whether the “real world” is just another virtual game?
See lessTwo jaded mercenaries journey to a deadly planet to retrieve a priceless mineral only to learn a massive electromagnetic pulse will soon disable their only means of escape.
Underwood:True, you can't understand the entire story from a logline, but a reader should be able to understand the trajectory of the story, who the main character is and where the story is going (but not where it arrives).So in terms of that criterion your logline is okay .? Although it lacks an exRead more
Underwood:
True, you can’t understand the entire story from a logline, but a reader should be able to understand the trajectory of the story, who the main character is and where the story is going (but not where it arrives).
So in terms of that criterion your logline is okay .? Although it lacks an explicit inciting incident.? So I’m assuming it’s implicit; they’re greedy guys who’ve found a source of a priceless metal and? hope to cash in.
But? in this iteration, that doesn’t concern me so much.? What concerns me is that I don’t see in the logline? an emotional hook,? a good reason why an audience would be curious about the outcome and why they would care about the outcome.?
Why should an audience care about two jaded and greedy guys who seem to be pursuing a McGuffin? for a purely selfish reason?? ?I mean, is that all that matters to them, getting rich off the mineral?? ?Is there a greater good , a higher motivation to their struggle?
See lessA crazy caveman from a forest tribe accidentally ends up in 18th century London, he must find a way to get back home before he becomes an exhibit at the museum of history.
As Richiev said.? And the jeopardy doesn't make sense either.? ?Once they figure out who he is, the last thing modern scientists would want to do is stuff him like a trophy animal and put him in a museum.? And how does anyone know he's from another epoch?? ?Why would they believe that he accidentallRead more
As Richiev said.? And the jeopardy doesn’t make sense either.? ?Once they figure out who he is, the last thing modern scientists would want to do is stuff him like a trophy animal and put him in a museum.? And how does anyone know he’s from another epoch?? ?Why would they believe that he accidentally time tripped from to the present?
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