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Is this a valid log line? Or is it too vague?
Great inciting incident But I'm unsure about the rest.? ?How will being transmorgified help him "untaint" his past.? What is the taint?? And why MUST he clear his family name NOW?? ?What's at stake?? What's does he stand to lose, what's the worst thing that can happen if he doesn't clear the taint?
Great inciting incident
But I’m unsure about the rest.? ?How will being transmorgified help him “untaint” his past.? What is the taint?? And why MUST he clear his family name NOW?? ?What’s at stake?? What’s does he stand to lose, what’s the worst thing that can happen if he doesn’t clear the taint?
See lessFiesty female London detective has a veteran New York cop foisted on her while she struggles to catch a serial killer with some very nasty habits before he strikes again in his search for a worth mate – or his attention turns to her.
>>>or his attention turns to her.Burying the story hook. This is the most interesting feature of the premise. The relationship of the killer with the detective is a stronger pitching point than the relationship with the NYC cop.And a New York cop has no legal authority in London. He certainRead more
>>>or his attention turns to her.
Burying the story hook. This is the most interesting feature of the premise. The relationship of the killer with the detective is a stronger pitching point than the relationship with the NYC cop.
And a New York cop has no legal authority in London. He certainly can?t make an arrest. And police are quite territorial about an outsider, in this case a foreigner, meddling in cases in their jurisdiction, So why is he even there?
Whatever, the logline places the relationship problem ? the ?Odd Couple? ? before the plot problem, apprehending a serial killer. In a logliine, the plot takes precedence.
>>>some very nasty habits
See lessDon?t they all? Isn?t serial killing a nasty business to begin with? IOW: be specific. What is the distinguishing feature that differentiates this killer from others? That has a foreigner meddling in the case?
When as actress playing a costumed hero crosses the line, as would her character, her actions alter the lives of everyone around her.
>>>When a actress turned vigilante purses a rapist, her sister falls for a club-owner caught in the wake.A logline describes a plot.? A plot is a unitary course of action by a character to achieve a singular objective goal.? This logline describes two? characters engaging in seemingly? twoRead more
>>>When a actress turned vigilante purses a rapist, her sister falls for a club-owner caught in the wake.
A logline describes a plot.? A plot is a unitary course of action by a character to achieve a singular objective goal.? This logline describes two? characters engaging in seemingly? two independent courses of action.? Who owns this story?? What is the main course of action, the backbone of the plot on which everything else hangs?
Of course, the primary main course of action may have secondary and tertiary story threads, but a logline is only about the primary course of action.? ?For the sake of brevity and because? the primary course of action by itself should be interesting enough to sell the script,
And actually,? there doesn’t seem to be a plot to the sister falling in love.? There is no goal she’s striving toward,? no obvious stakes, no apparent dramatic tension in her falling in love.? She just does.? It comes across as an event in? the actress’s plot, not a subplot in its own right.? Nor is it obvious that it complicates the actress’s? plot,? Two more reasons it does? not seem to belong in the logline.
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