1. Posted: March 28, 2019In:

    When his stepdad, out of frustration, accidentally tells him his real father is Santa Claus, an autistic 12 year old sets out on Christmas Eve to find him.

    dpg Singularity

    I recognize that in the 1st Act a writer has the license to create an alternate world and rules? for that world.? Still, he must set up that world and the rules in a way that the audience will buy into, in a way that induces an audience to suspend disbelief.That said, on the basis of one sentence inRead more

    I recognize that in the 1st Act a writer has the license to create an alternate world and rules? for that world.? Still, he must set up that world and the rules in a way that the audience will buy into, in a way that induces an audience to suspend disbelief.

    That said, on the basis of one sentence instead of 30 pages, I am unable to suspend disbelief.? Specifically I find it difficult? to buy into the father’s outburst.? Why would any parent, even out of frustration, say something like that?? Especially given that the opposite situation is quite credible, that a parent would blurt out in frustration that Santa Claus doesn’t exist, that it’s about time his kid grew out of his juvenile fantasies and realized it.

    Unless, that is exactly the world? you are setting up:? the kid is, indeed, Santa’s love child.

    I have no problem believing that an autistic kid is gullible because a symptom of autism is a deficit in the cognitive ability to read between the lines of what others say.? Every statement is taken literally, every presentation at face value.? So the kid still believes in Santa because he sees him in ads, in print and on TV, ringing bells in front of grocery stores, posing for pictures at shopping malls, etc.

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  2. Posted: March 28, 2019In:

    After an inexplicable resurrection following her ?end-of-life? party, a terminally ill matriarch returns to her grieving family with a primal hunger ? and begs them to kill her before the murderous urge takes control.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity

    >>a primal hungerFor what?? Cannibalism?? If so, say so.? If not clarify.>>begs them to kill herIf she realizes she's that dangerous to others, why doesn't she just kill herself?The logline frames a narrative only in relation to the dramatic? problem and the problem character, the matriaRead more

    >>a primal hunger
    For what?? Cannibalism?? If so, say so.? If not clarify.

    >>begs them to kill her
    If she realizes she’s that dangerous to others, why doesn’t she just kill herself?

    The logline frames a narrative only in relation to the dramatic? problem and the problem character, the matriarch. There is no designated solution character, no protagonist who must take the lead in solving the dramatic problem.? Check out “Our Formula” for guidelines on writing an industry acceptable guideline.

    And the proper genre for this seems to be horror, not drama.

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  3. Posted: March 27, 2019In:

    When he learns that the woman he yearns for has the same destructive personality disorder as his psychologist?s wife, an emotionally-battered man teams with the psychologist, who helps him implement a new and bizarre approach to fixing the on-off relationship.

    dpg Singularity

    Agree with? Richiev and mikepedley85.? Also, without providing details, the logline is asking me to take it on faith that this "new and bizarre approach " has a sound basis in current psychological knowledge and praxis. -- that's it is a? credible therapy.? ?I dunno.? The protagonist is described asRead more

    Agree with? Richiev and mikepedley85.? Also, without providing details, the logline is asking me to take it on faith that this “new and bizarre approach ” has a sound basis in current psychological knowledge and praxis. — that’s it is a? credible therapy.? ?I dunno.? The protagonist is described as “emotionally battered”.? Physician, heal thyself first.

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