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As dimensional portals bring refugees from an another earth, a disillusioned border agent encounters his alternate-earth daughter and becomes torn between following orders, or protecting an alternate world from annihilation.
>>>he must abandon his orders.A logline should be a succinct statement of a protagonist?s objective goal. Objectives goals are proactively struggled for. ?Abandoning orders? is not an objective goal. It?s reactive instead of proactive. What must he DO instead of follow his orders? What?s hiRead more
>>>he must abandon his orders.
A logline should be a succinct statement of a protagonist?s objective goal. Objectives goals are proactively struggled for. ?Abandoning orders? is not an objective goal. It?s reactive instead of proactive. What must he DO instead of follow his orders? What?s his game plan to resolve his dramatic dilemma?
And I don’t see why it’s up to him to save an alternate world. Or why he should want to or need to. His daughter has escaped as a refugee .? What’s the personal stakes for him?
See less(REVISED) When his mother is inexplicably resurrected after her ?end-of-life? party, a Christian grief counselor convinces his family it?s a miracle by hiding the truth ? she?s returned with a growing bloodlust.
Taking the logline at face value, it says the grief counselor's objective goal is to hide the truth about his mother.? How exciting is that going to be, to watch someone hide the truth for the duration of the film?And hiding the truth is not a proactive effort for a protagonist to engage in.? ?It seRead more
Taking the logline at face value, it says the grief counselor’s objective goal is to hide the truth about his mother.? How exciting is that going to be, to watch someone hide the truth for the duration of the film?
And hiding the truth is not a proactive effort for a protagonist to engage in.? ?It seems me that hiding the truth is a temporary plot strategy,? not a plot goal.? ?It’s a means to an end, that end being to buy him time to proactively figure out what to do about her blood lust.? ?Which is?
See lessTired of being his 24/7 gopher, a workaholic lawyer gives her playboy boss two weeks notice only to fall in love with him while finding her replacement.
The featured logline puts more of a spotlight on the story hook, the personal relationship, than the underlying plot structure.? The defining characteristics of the principals are correctly aligned; that is, in diametrical opposition so as to create plenty of conflict and wedge issues.Here?s my takeRead more
The featured logline puts more of a spotlight on the story hook, the personal relationship, than the underlying plot structure.? The defining characteristics of the principals are correctly aligned; that is, in diametrical opposition so as to create plenty of conflict and wedge issues.
Here?s my take on a longer, more complicated version spotlighting the plot:
An idealistic lawyer works for a playboy developer [condition for the plot action]? provided he not demolish a beloved community center [objective goal]. But when he treats her as his 24/7 gopher [inciting incident for the? plot action] she quits [cause of? plot action] only to fall in love with him [major complication] while finding her replacement.
Minus the words in brackets this version comes in at 38 words, just under what I consider to be the maximum acceptable length for a logline.
Now then.
Her overarching plot goal is to save the community center.? Her mission seems accomplished before the end of Act 1.
So, at the end of Act 1, her objective goal realized, fed up with being used a gopher, she gives two weeks notice.? Her new plot goal is to find a suitable replacement before the ticking clock runs down.? And then exit and resume the kind of the work where her heart is: public service law.? This seems to be the end of the plot because it seems to resolve all the wedge issues, all? the conflicts, all the dramatic tension.
But it’s only the beginning of the plot.? The heart, soul, and hook of the film is in the “B” story, the romance, not the “A” story, the construction or destruction of this or that structure.? The overarching objective goal? in the “A” story recedes (mostly) to the background and serve as a framework? in which to play out the more interesting ?B? story which now comes to foreground.? It is the story thread? for working out her character arc: to fall in love with a guy in spite of their clashing temperaments and wedge issues.
The “A” story comes to the foreground again late in Act 2 when the playboy is under pressure to renege on his promise.? This precipitates the ultimate crisis in his (much bigger) character arc.? Now he must man up if he is to save the community center?and their relationship.
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