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Upon watching a man taking another one hostage in broad daylight, an event planner on a job interview decides to prove his skills by turning the situation into a beautiful celebration.
Robb Ross raise several good points.And the logline lacks a required piece of information:? what is the event planner's objective goal, what is his purpose?? Is it a? selfless scheme to rescue the victim?? Or a selfish publicity stunt, to market himself?
Robb Ross raise several good points.
And the logline lacks a required piece of information:? what is the event planner’s objective goal, what is his purpose?? Is it a? selfless scheme to rescue the victim?? Or a selfish publicity stunt, to market himself?
See lessAs dimensional portals bring refugees from an another earth, a disillusioned border agent encounters his alternate-earth daughter and becomes torn between following orders, or protecting an alternate world from annihilation.
One other thought:? I suggest narrowing the focus of his objective goal in the logline to merely saving his daughter.? That has to be the most paramount goal in any parent's mind, right?? ?And it's good enough for plotting purposes.I like to view a plot as a poker game.? Initially, the protagonist oRead more
One other thought:? I suggest narrowing the focus of his objective goal in the logline to merely saving his daughter.? That has to be the most paramount goal in any parent’s mind, right?? ?And it’s good enough for plotting purposes.
I like to view a plot as a poker game.? Initially, the protagonist only has to put in a few chips [risk, effort)]to get into the game.? The major plot points are betting rounds, where he must see and raise, put more and more? and more chips into the pot [escalating risk, effort] to stay in the game.? Ultimately, he will have to push every chip into the pot.
Transposing the poker analogy to your story, it could be that initially he thinks he can rescue his? daughter with a minimum? bet [risk and effort].? (And only his daughter:? not because he’s selfish but because he’s just one man; he doesn’t have the power, the ways and means, to rescue every one.)
Only to discover he has to make bigger bets [risk, effort].? Finally, he realizes that the only way he can save his daughter is to push every chip into the pot [including his life] to incite a rebellion that liberates the others.
fwiw
See lessAs dimensional portals bring refugees from an another earth, a disillusioned border agent encounters his alternate-earth daughter and becomes torn between following orders, or protecting an alternate world from annihilation.
lxdengar: I believe that "disobey' still begs the question.? Disobey orders to do what?? And then do what instead?? it's not enough to just say "No!" to orders.? The protagonist must say "Yes!" to an alternative action plan .? What is that alternative action plan? Also: do you envision your conceptRead more
lxdengar:
I believe that “disobey’ still begs the question.? Disobey orders to do what?? And then do what instead?? it’s not enough to just say “No!” to orders.? The protagonist must say “Yes!” to an alternative action plan .? What is that alternative action plan?
Also: do you envision your concept as an allegory of the illegal immigration crisis affecting nations around the world?
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