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  1. Posted: October 20, 2018In: Drama

    A young teen decides to run away from home in order to escape the abuses from his father.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 20, 2018 at 10:52 pm

    There's a story to tell, here, about life on the mean streets.? The fate of most runaways is to jump from the frying pan into the fire. But?"he doesn't decide to run away " - - he just runs away.? And then what?? A logline outlines a plot.? And a plot is not about deciding ,but what happens after aRead more

    There’s a story to tell, here, about life on the mean streets.? The fate of most runaways is to jump from the frying pan into the fire.

    But?”he doesn’t decide to run away ” – – he just runs away.? And then what?? A logline outlines a plot.? And a plot is not about deciding ,but what happens after a life changing decision is made.? Which is….?

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  2. Posted: October 17, 2018In: Comedy

    Two middle-aged misfits wrestle with their selective memories as they retrace the steps of a wild teenage holiday hoping to find their dead friend?s estranged son.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 19, 2018 at 5:07 am

    AHarper84:Thanks for the clarification. I find the premise of a misadventure-riddled road trip/quest appealing, but the setup you have in mind seems to lack, well, momentum.? It seems to me to lack an inciting incident strong enough to push them out of their comfy inertia, energize with them with aRead more

    AHarper84:

    Thanks for the clarification. I find the premise of a misadventure-riddled road trip/quest appealing, but the setup you have in mind seems to lack, well, momentum.? It seems to me to lack an inciting incident strong enough to push them out of their comfy inertia, energize with them with a compelling reason to go on a quest for the son.

    And, again, what are the stakes?? Why MUST they find the long lost son? What is to be gained by finding the son and telling him , in effect; “The father who took no responsibility for raising or supporting you is dead.? And he died a deadbeat drunk, so there’s not even an estate for you to inherit as a compensation for his being a derelict father.”? No doubt, the the son will be thankful to hear the tidings.? As if?

    Have you considered a setup where he may have died drunk, but he didn’t die poor?? That — come to find out? — he left a lot of money and a will designating it all got to his son.? Son, what son? And one of the two men has been designated as the executor of the will, so it’s his job to find the son.

    And then there’s the mother.? If it’s important to find the son, what about her, the victim of the one night stand?? Isn’t it as equally important to find and notify her?

    The premise in this story suggests that the quest will climax in some kind of? emotional consummation .? There will be a cathartic closure of unresolved business between a loser father and? his neglected and abandoned son.? And right now, I just can’t imagine what that might be.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: October 17, 2018In: Thriller

    A man tormented by the death of his wife and daughter, which he accuses himself of, will have to endure the apparitions of the ghosts of his family who also blame him for their deaths.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 18, 2018 at 3:37 am

    Agree with mikepedley85 on every point.? ?This logline is all about a troubled past, a guilt present.? Not a clue as to where the story is going, what the action will be going forward.? And that's what a logline should be about, not where a character has been, or is now, but where he is struggling tRead more

    Agree with mikepedley85 on every point.? ?This logline is all about a troubled past, a guilt present.? Not a clue as to where the story is going, what the action will be going forward.? And that’s what a logline should be about, not where a character has been, or is now, but where he is struggling to go in the future.

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