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  1. Posted: August 30, 2018In: Historical

    When a SS General’s daughter falls in love with a Jewish boy in a concentration camp, they must stand out together to get back his family and help the Jews escape from the Germans.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 30, 2018 at 4:10 am

    This is certainly a more believable situation than the previous iteration with Hitler's daughter.? (But is the story really historical in the sense that it's based on true events?? That is, a star-crossed romance between a German girl and a Jewish boy?)Whatever, I suggest the logline needs to framedRead more

    This is certainly a more believable situation than the previous iteration with Hitler’s daughter.? (But is the story really historical in the sense that it’s based on true events?? That is, a star-crossed romance between a German girl and a Jewish boy?)

    Whatever, I suggest the logline needs to framed with either the girl or the boy as the protagonist.? I nominate the girl as she has the greater dilemmas, as she is the only one with any credible means to save the boy and his family.?

    Just as in “Schindler’s List”: the Jewish accountant, Itzhak Stern is “teamed up” with Oskar Schindler.? But? the protagonist is clearly Oskar Schindler because of the two, only he has the freedom and resources (money to bribe) to save the Jews who work for him.

    fwiw

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  2. Posted: August 30, 2018In: Thriller

    When exiled from his town, a duplicitous man must confront his identity.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 30, 2018 at 3:57 am

    Why must he confront his identity?? What are the stakes: What does he stand to lose if he doesn't?? What does he stand to gain if he does?And film is a visual medium.? What's the visual for "identity", anyway?? ? What does that look like?The logline lacks a concrete objective goal for the protagonisRead more

    Why must he confront his identity?? What are the stakes: What does he stand to lose if he doesn’t?? What does he stand to gain if he does?

    And film is a visual medium.? What’s the visual for “identity”, anyway?? ? What does that look like?

    The logline lacks a concrete objective goal for the protagonist.? And the main character seems to be a passenger in the plot vehicle rather than the driver of the plot vehicle. He’s being driven (somewhere) by circumstances, rather than? driving the plot himself toward a specific, objective, concrete destination. ?

    Please consult “Our Formula” at the top of the web page for guidelines to writing? an industry standard logline.

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  3. Posted: August 28, 2018In: Examples

    A lone surfer attacked by a shark and stranded on a reef must find a way back to shore before succumbing to her injuries.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 29, 2018 at 9:43 pm

    >>>the shoot was grueling and hard. According to IMDB,? ?the film was originally going to be filmed on the Gulf Coast of Texas, but the filmmakers were denied a film permit for safety reasons. One reason I selected the 2014 Black List to study was to see how many of the scripts had actuallyRead more

    >>>the shoot was grueling and hard.
    According to IMDB,? ?the film was originally going to be filmed on the Gulf Coast of Texas, but the filmmakers were denied a film permit for safety reasons.

    One reason I selected the 2014 Black List to study was to see how many of the scripts had actually been produced in the ensuing four years.? “The Shallows” had only a two year lag — it was released in 2106, which in Hollyweird time is almost warp speed.

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