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  1. Posted: August 28, 2018In: Examples

    A lone surfer attacked by a shark and stranded on a reef must find a way back to shore before succumbing to her injuries.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 28, 2018 at 9:23 am

    Backstory:? I was reviewing a Black List of loglines? based upon a survey of? favorite scripts read by 250 film executives in the calendar year of 2014. (The scripts were not yet in production at the end of that year.) To make the cut for the Black List a script had to get at least 6 mentions. A totRead more

    Backstory:? I was reviewing a Black List of loglines? based upon a survey of? favorite scripts read by 250 film executives in the calendar year of 2014. (The scripts were not yet in production at the end of that year.) To make the cut for the Black List a script had to get at least 6 mentions. A total of 70 scripts made the cut.

    One of the scripts that made the cut was the logline for the script “In the Deep” which was released in 2016 with the title “”The Shallows”.

    The logline above is verbatim from one in the Black List.

    Mission accomplished.

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  2. Posted: August 21, 2018In: Comedy

    When twin sisters contest to get young rich person, they face chaotic life.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 28, 2018 at 8:14 am

    Still not sure what the inciting incident is that kicks off the plot.? Whatever it is, it should upset the status quo. If the status quo is that their relationship is? conflicted from the git go because they were raised separately, then tossing a love interest into the mix doesn't really upset the sRead more

    Still not sure what the inciting incident is that kicks off the plot.? Whatever it is, it should upset the status quo.

    If the status quo is that their relationship is? conflicted from the git go because they were raised separately, then tossing a love interest into the mix doesn’t really upset the status quo.? Rather, it just intensifies an already conflicted relationship, makes a bad situation worse.

    So, it is more dramatically interesting if the status quo is that initially the relationship between the twins is harmonious.? And then introduce the love interest that upsets that status quo, creates discord and conflict between the two,

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: August 27, 2018In: Heist

    In the aftermath of a close friend’s suicide, five U.S. Navy sailors conspire to rob a local loan shark who they believe was responsible for his death.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 28, 2018 at 7:58 am

    1] Only rob?? (Surely the loan shark will retaliate,)2]? Any particular reason why the ensemble has to include five men?? Versus, say, three?? Or two?? ?Or only one?3] Whatever, there's gotta be an alpha-male, a guy? who is the default leader of the group.? ?Whoever it is, I suggest the logline be rRead more

    1] Only rob?? (Surely the loan shark will retaliate,)

    2]? Any particular reason why the ensemble has to include five men?? Versus, say, three?? Or two?? ?Or only one?

    3] Whatever, there’s gotta be an alpha-male, a guy? who is the default leader of the group.? ?Whoever it is, I suggest the logline be recast with him as the protagonist.

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