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  1. Posted: July 16, 2018In: Heist

    After she’s dumped in a nursing-home because her family can’t afford her care, a meek grandmother and a motley-crew of exploited residents attempt to steal back enough money from the corrupt facility owners to return home.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 19, 2018 at 3:56 am

    >>>. It?s a heist movie,How so?? The money's off site in bank accounts.? Not in a nursing home .? What's there to "heist" in a nursing home?? Adult diapers?

    >>>. It?s a heist movie,

    How so?? The money’s off site in bank accounts.? Not in a nursing home .? What’s there to “heist” in a nursing home?? Adult diapers?

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  2. Posted: July 17, 2018In: SciFi

    When his best friend dies in a drive by shooting, a naive vagrant must escape the harsh streets of his home world to join the galactic armed forces, endure their harsh training and battle nightmarish aliens to become a space knight.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 19, 2018 at 3:51 am

    Why must he become a space knight?? Isn't that merely a milestone along a path to his ultimate objective goal?? Isn't his ultimate objective goal to avenge the death of his best friend?? To develop the skills he needs to defeat the bad guys?Luke Skywalker accepts Obi-wan's call to become a Jedi? kniRead more

    Why must he become a space knight?? Isn’t that merely a milestone along a path to his ultimate objective goal?? Isn’t his ultimate objective goal to avenge the death of his best friend?? To develop the skills he needs to defeat the bad guys?

    Luke Skywalker accepts Obi-wan’s call to become a Jedi? knight not for bragging rights or status.? Or to score with women.? Or to use a cool light saber.

    His objective goal is to avenge the death of his step parents by defeating the evil Empire.

    The logline for this story needs to be framed accordingly.

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  3. Posted: July 18, 2018In: Thriller

    When a woman is killed after stealing a memory, a washed up detective tracks her killer, who begins to taunt him with more victims and memories.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 19, 2018 at 3:07 am

    >>>the death of his wife and daughterSpielberg has been there, done that with the protagonist? in "The Minority Report".? What's the point of having those ghosts in his memory bank, anyway?? To provide a pseudo-psycho explanation for his addiction to other people's memories?? If so, IMHO, iRead more

    >>>the death of his wife and daughter

    Spielberg has been there, done that with the protagonist? in “The Minority Report”.? What’s the point of having those ghosts in his memory bank, anyway?? To provide a pseudo-psycho explanation for his addiction to other people’s memories?? If so, IMHO, it’s a shallow, mucho overused and abused gimmick.?

    To repeat; I think you have a great story hook.? Please dig deeper. (My 2.5 cents worth.)

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1 … 374 375 376 377 378 … 1,840

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