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When a woman is killed after stealing a memory, a washed up detective tracks her killer, who begins to taunt him with more victims and memories.
I like the general premise but I'm not sold (yet) on the plot as pitched in the logline.If "washed up" because he's addicted to stolen memories, then just say so.? Don't leave us guessing.If the detective is a memory addict, then it seems to me that the inciting incident should arise from his habit,Read more
I like the general premise but I’m not sold (yet) on the plot as pitched in the logline.
If “washed up” because he’s addicted to stolen memories, then just say so.? Don’t leave us guessing.
If the detective is a memory addict, then it seems to me that the inciting incident should arise from his habit, his character flaw.? Like, a stolen memory contains an clue (say in the background) to an unsolved case.
Whatever, the premise is a fertile one.? It creates so many avenues for a plot to go down.? That’s a good thing.? Explore them all and then settle on one for the script and logline.? Leverage to the story hook to the max, a world? where a black market exists to “shoot up” on other people’s memories.
Leverage it well enough and I think this could become a franchise.??
fwiw
See lessAfter nearly dying of a heart attack, a morbidly obese junk-food addict gives herself a year to get in shape to finish the London marathon.
After nearly dying of a heart attack, a morbidly obese food junkie gives herself one year to get in shape to run the London marathon. (25 words) I see no need to insert the trainer "B" story into the logline.? It's a natural subplot, but the? main plot isn't about the relationship -- it's about theRead more
After nearly dying of a heart attack, a morbidly obese food junkie gives herself one year to get in shape to run the London marathon.
(25 words)
I see no need to insert the trainer “B” story into the logline.? It’s a natural subplot, but the? main plot isn’t about the relationship — it’s about the struggle to? be able to run the marathon.
See lessAfter her source is killed, a discredited journalist struggles to unravel and expose a diabolical plot by the world leader in DNA test kits before she becomes his next victim.
Yep, we need to know what the diabolical plot is.? We need to have a clear idea of what the protagonist is fighting against -- and for, a a specific rather than vague statement of the objective goal.? What jeopardy, what threat is created by marketing DNA tests, anyway?
Yep, we need to know what the diabolical plot is.? We need to have a clear idea of what the protagonist is fighting against — and for, a a specific rather than vague statement of the objective goal.?
What jeopardy, what threat is created by marketing DNA tests, anyway?
See less