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  1. Posted: May 23, 2018In: Action

    deleted

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 24, 2018 at 5:03 am

    >>>because she doesn?t have any training to control her own powerOkay.? But that refers to the subjective story line.? Loglines are about the objective story line.>>>she must struggle to survive the last of her race, who wants to kill her to take full control over humanity.That's rRead more

    >>>because she doesn?t have any training to control her own power

    Okay.? But that refers to the subjective story line.? Loglines are about the objective story line.

    >>>she must struggle to survive the last of her race, who wants to kill her to take full control over humanity.

    That’s reactive, that’s what she’s doing in response to her foe.? But a logline must cast a logline with a protagonist who is proactive.? A character who initiates and pursues her own positive objective goal in defiance of, in spite of whatever goal the antagonist has in mind for her.?

    So the logline has to be about more than mere survival.? Luke is struggling to do more than merely survive Darth Vader; Neo is struggling to do more than merely survive the Matrix agents.

    Both Luke’s and Neo’s training is not an end of itself.? It’s a? means to enable them to achieve a greater goal.

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  2. Posted: May 23, 2018In: Action

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    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 24, 2018 at 4:47 am

    If she is already the incarnation of the power that sustains and connects all life, then doesn't she already have all the resources she needs to defeat any adversary, overcome any? obstacle to any goal?The premise seems to deal her a royal flush.? She has an unbeatable hand.? ?What is there to worryRead more

    If she is already the incarnation of the power that sustains and connects all life, then doesn’t she already have all the resources she needs to defeat any adversary, overcome any? obstacle to any goal?

    The premise seems to deal her a royal flush.? She has an unbeatable hand.? ?What is there to worry about?

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  3. Posted: May 23, 2018In: Fantasy

    When people die when they touch the doctor he must defeat death, who chose him as his successor, to return to normality.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 24, 2018 at 4:31 am

    First of all, the logline is confusing to me.? I'm not sure what the story is about.Second, premises for stories in the fantasy genre, in particular, require a suspension of disbelief.? The premise for this story asks me to suspend disbelief, don't question,? just accept the notion that the grim reaRead more

    First of all, the logline is confusing to me.? I’m not sure what the story is about.

    Second, premises for stories in the fantasy genre, in particular, require a suspension of disbelief.? The premise for this story asks me to suspend disbelief, don’t question,? just accept the notion that the grim reaper passes the scythe to someone else.? And a doctor, no less.

    I, for one, am unable to do so.? I want to know why grim reaper must choose another successor.? And I want to know why of all the billions of people he could have chosen, does he choose that particular doctor.

    In drama, the protagonist getting chosen is never coincidental.? On a subjective level, in terms of the protagonist’s character arc it can’t be a purely random, capricious act.? It must expose a character flaw that must be overcome to achieve his objective goal.? Being chosen not only incites a quest for an objective goal, it also incites a character arc, a struggle to overcome a flaw, a weakness, a vulnerability.

    What is the doctor’s character flaw that must be overcome if he is to throw off the curse of his new “calling”?

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