1. Posted: April 17, 2018In:

    The world renowned assassin turns himself in to protect his family,but his last contract didn’t go as planned,now every ruthless assassin hunts down his family.

    dpg Singularity

    >>>to protect his family How is that possible when it seems like turning himself in exacerbates the very problem he was trying to avoid? >>>now every ruthless assassin hunts down his family. So.... what must he do about that?? What becomes his objective goal?

    >>>to protect his family

    How is that possible when it seems like turning himself in exacerbates the very problem he was trying to avoid?

    >>>now every ruthless assassin hunts down his family.

    So…. what must he do about that?? What becomes his objective goal?

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  2. Posted: April 16, 2018In:

    In a world where humans are cloned to harvest their organs until they die, one clone struggles to postpone his fate.

    dpg Singularity

    variable;Good effort at? 22 words for a plot line that casts Kathy as the protagonist.But I respectfully see it differently.I think Kathy's defining character attribute is reticence .? It's a flaw that sabotages her desire to win Tommy's affection.? In contrast , her rival, Ruth, is aggressive,? notRead more

    variable;

    Good effort at? 22 words for a plot line that casts Kathy as the protagonist.

    But I respectfully see it differently.

    I think Kathy’s defining character attribute is reticence .? It’s a flaw that sabotages her desire to win Tommy’s affection.? In contrast , her rival, Ruth, is aggressive,? not shy about going for who she wants.? And by the end of Act 1 after she sees Ruth? boldy kiss Tommy,? Kathy resigns herself to having lost the contest for his heart (and other organs).

    And “realizing they are clones” is tricky.? I got the impression that the kids know they are “special”,? but they don’t fully comprehend what that means for their future.? Until 24 minutes into the 1st Act, when their guardian/teacher spells it out for them. (Which gets her fired.)

    I see Ruth as the proactive character in the “B” story.? Which is to say,? Ruth is the protagonist of the “B” story.? Because up until the bitter end of her life, she is in the driver’s seat of the “B” story.? (How much in the driver’s seat?? She’s the one who connives to reunite Kathy and Tommy before her dies.)

    So I don’t see Kathy as the protagonist.? Not in the “B” story, not in the “A” story .? Tommy is the protagonist of the “A” story.? Kathy is the POV/Narrator character.

    But, as we know, the logline is about the? “A” story thread — not the “B”? — and the character in the driver’s seat of that thread.? And in most films, the protagonist may drive? both story lines, so it’s a distinction without a difference.? But this film seems to be an exception.

    Hmm.? Now I’m? going to scan my database of films for other movies that might be exceptions to the rule.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: April 17, 2018In:

    A chosen earth gatekeeper must stay alive for 3 hours while the worlds mate,the mate open the gates to both worlds ,aliens seize the opportunity to invade earth,his death keeps the gate open forever and it means death for all mankind.

    dpg Singularity

    Alas, the logline is:1] Too long (41 words). 2] Too complicated to understand the plot in one quick read (which is how loglines are read). 3] A logline should only raise one question in the mind of a reader: "Will the protagonist achieve his objective goal?"But this logline raises numerous questionsRead more

    Alas, the logline is:

    1] Too long (41 words).
    2] Too complicated to understand the plot in one quick read (which is how loglines are read).
    3] A logline should only raise one question in the mind of a reader: “Will the protagonist achieve his objective goal?”

    But this logline raises numerous questions, like:? What does it mean that worlds mate?? How do they mate?? ?What worlds are there beside the world we live on?? Open gates to both worlds?? What gates?? How will his death keep the gates open forever and doom mankind?

    fwiw

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