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  1. Posted: February 18, 2018In: Action

    After a scientific accident that leaves everyone dead and one with fire abilities, the survivor must travel to a sacred temple to learn how to control his abilities.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 18, 2018 at 7:19 am

    What's are the stakes?? ?And who is his nemesis?? (Gotta have a nemesis.)

    What’s are the stakes?? ?And who is his nemesis?? (Gotta have a nemesis.)

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  2. Posted: February 17, 2018In: Drama

    A young, pregnant Maltese woman struggles to survive the siege of Malta and Nazi invasion alone, after her submariner husband leaves during WWII. OR When newlyweds Jaynie and Reggie are separated during the siege of Malta WW2, an impulsive, pregnant Jaynie must survive and save her family without him.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 18, 2018 at 7:15 am

    Have you considered setting her in the legendary siege of Malta by the Turkish armada dispatched by Suleiman the Magnificent in 1565?It was the largest armada every assembled up to that point in history and the siege was far more harrowing.? It has far more opportunities, far? more possibilities forRead more

    Have you considered setting her in the legendary siege of Malta by the Turkish armada dispatched by Suleiman the Magnificent in 1565?

    It was the largest armada every assembled up to that point in history and the siege was far more harrowing.? It has far more opportunities, far? more possibilities for cinematic spectacle and dramatic conflict.? She could be in the thick of the fighting and a pivotal player in the outcome.?

    Whereas in the WW2 siege, she seems to be a hapless victim of historical circumstances with no direct agency in determining the outcome.? All she In 1940-42? she has to take shelter and survive. Whereas in 1565 she would have had to survive — and fight back.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: February 16, 2018In: Drama

    After a selfish, irresponsible, 18 year old’s father is framed and she is given his hyper- intelligent OCD son (11) to look after, she must fool Social Services into believing she is responsible enough to care for the boy, or outwit a crime syndicate into negotiating her father?s release before the boy is removed from her care.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 18, 2018 at 3:25 am

    When her father is imprisoned, an irresponsible 18-year old motherless girl must learn how to support and raise her hyper-intelligent but OCD younger brother. (24 words)Awkward, but it seems to me that this is the story hook, and a logline should lead with and focus on the story hook.? By story hookRead more

    When her father is imprisoned, an irresponsible 18-year old motherless girl must learn how to support and raise her hyper-intelligent but OCD younger brother.
    (24 words)

    Awkward, but it seems to me that this is the story hook, and a logline should lead with and focus on the story hook.? By story hook I mean that it is the factor most likely to “hook” a? movie maker’s attention, make him want to read the script.

    Why do I think it is the story hook?? Because it is simply the more emotionally charged story line.? Two young people must struggle together to survive in a tough world by their own wits.? “Outwit a crime syndicate into negotiating her father?s release ” — whatever that means — seems pale in comparison;? in terms of emotional engagement, I think it’s a side show.

    In addition, taking care of her brother is the more compatible story line for working out her character arc.? She’s describe as “selfish, irresponsible”– character flaws she will more directly and intensely have to confront and overcome in her relationship with her brother than in any dealings with a crime syndicate. (Come to think about it, what character flaw would she have to overcome to deal with bad guys?)

    fwiw

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